Don't Be THAT Friend

So my roommate got a boyfriend. And I know I should be happy for her.

But the truth is, I'm not. Partially because I don't like him for her and partially because I'm jealous.

But I think the thing that bothers me the most is that it seems like she's gone all the time now. The day they decided they were dating she was gone for 5 hours. She randomly left for an hour when she had gotten someone to cover for her because she needed to work on something for her at school. She's been gone for about 4 hours as I'm writing this.

I know it's exciting and fun when you first start dating someone. But it is so important to retain your friends. Things may not work out, but your friends will be there for you. Or, maybe they won't if you completely alienate them to spend time with your boyfriend all the time. You need to be careful to not invest in a guy too much even if you are married to him. You need other relationships. And, if as soon as you start dating, you're a ghost, well that's a problem.

I've been there. I've been that girl. I had basically no friends because I spent all my time with my boyfriend or waiting for my boyfriend or whatever. A lot of girls do this. But what happened when he broke up with me? I was alone. I was devastated. I had no one to help me through it. I became depressed. It happens. Believe me.

So don't become a ghost just because you got a boyfriend. Make time for your friends. Make plans to go do stuff with them. And don't spend too much time with him. Retain your old interests. And don't feel like you need to involve him in all aspects of your life. You don't have to talk to him 24/7. You don't have to see him every day. You don't have to go on a date every week. It's okay to take it slow and not get too involved too fast.

But hey, what do I know? It's your life.

I'm just a little lonely.

And I don't wanna take care of her dog.

Stick around,

Sharon 

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Football Game

So as I was walking to the football game on my lonesome Thursday night, an odd thing happened. I was approaching the tailgate zone and this guy stopped me, "Excuse me," he said, "I'm not trying to be weird, but I really just wanted to tell you that you are beautiful." 

"That is kind of weird, but thanks," I said.
"I don't mean to be weird, I just really felt in my heart that I needed to tell you that you are beautiful. And it's true. You're truly beautiful. Have a good night."
"Thanks," I said, "you too."

The guy seemed completely normal (as in, not altered in any way), but it was odd to say the least. He was a complete stranger and yet he felt compelled to stop me and tell me that I am beautiful, and beyond that, he actually stopped and told me. I can't say that I would. I posted the story on my Facebook and a ton of people liked it and my sister commented that obviously God was trying to send me a message. And maybe He was. The guy did say that he felt in his heart that he needed to tell me. I think this is even more amazing to me because I've never really felt like I actually heard God before. I've felt Him, I've seen Him in things, but I've never heard Him. And there he was as I was going to a football game, a completely normal thing, telling me that I, his creation, his daughter, am beautiful. I just can't even. And honestly, I haven't been feeling very beautiful lately. I've been feeling exhausted, stressed, frazzled, sad, used, drained, disastrous, but certainly not beautiful. Heck, I've even felt somewhat like a bad person recently. And to think, God knew how I was feeling and he put it in this random stranger's heart to tell me that despite everything, I am beautiful. Inside and out. That is pretty darn awesome. We do have an awesome God.

And if this somehow gets back to that random guy, thank you. That was exactly what I needed to hear. You are awesome. I love you (I'm not trying to be weird).

I am just dumbfounded that he felt in his heart that he should tell me that and he did it. I have felt that I should say something to people before. And I didn't do it. Yet, this guy has an obedient heart. How much better would the world be if we all listened to our hearts and did what was laid on them?

I hope that in the future, I can be more obedient to the Lord, because you never know why He is telling you to do something.

Stay beautiful, be obedient, and listen,

Sharon

Failure

I haven't posted in a couple of weeks because I'm struggling this semester. For the first time ever in my life, I am failing a class. It has me stressed out, confused, questioning my choices, depressed, terrified, and anxious. I've never failed a class before. NEVER.

I am a senior in college, wanting to graduate in May....FAILING a class required for my major.

A class REQUIRED to graduate.

How can this be?

I am struggling. I am being pulled under by a wave of emotions and confusion. I am overcome by a flood of thoughts.

I wish I had an easier major...

Maybe I should change my major....

Am I going to graduate....

What am I going to do...

I'm a failure...

I'm scared....

Why are these classes so hard....

What am I doing wrong....

Why can't I catch a break....

This isn't what I want to do with my life...

I'm not motivated....

It's a vicious cycle. I don't want to fail. But my lack of motivation this semester is what put me here. Then when I see a bad grade, the lack of motivation kicks in and makes me even less motivated. It's a negative feedback loop.

And frankly, nothing anyone is saying is helping.

I don't want to be told that I can do it.

I don't want to be told to go talk to the professor.

I don't want to be told that it's totally normal and everyone fails sometimes.

I don't want to be told that I have a plan should the worst happen (which it will, I've reached the point of no return, I am going to receive an F and I'm going to have to retake the class).

I want to be affirmed. Because I feel really lousy. I feel like a failure. I feel like failing defines me. I feel that I am a failure.

So if you are struggling, if you are failing at a job, a relationship, an assignment, a test, a class, or anything else, I am going to tell you what I wish someone would tell me.

Failing does not define you. Don't let failure bring you down and hurt you. Don't beat yourself up.

In the grand scheme of things, this failure DOES NOT MATTER.

You are inherently worthwhile. You are worth so much, and this struggle, this failure does not change that. You are beautiful. You are loved. You are worthy. You are intelligent. You are important.

I am proud of you.

I AM PROUD OF YOU.

Nothing will change that.

So don't let this failure define you. I am sorry that you are struggling, I am sorry that you are having a hard time, but everything will be okay. Just keep going no matter what struggles come your way.

And if you need to take a break, if you need to sit and cry and question life, I will sit with you. I will put my arm around your shoulder and sit with you silently in the pouring rain until you are ready to get up and get going again.

I don't have the answers. But I do know that the world is bigger than this. You are bigger than this.

It'll be okay,

Sharon