Closet Christianity

Recently, there was a post on BuzzFeed where the author (an educated, straight, female) said that she felt that admitting that she was a Christian was like coming out of the closet, but she felt as though being a homosexual is more widely accepted than being a Christian.

In the comments that followed the post, people said all sorts of mean things. Someone called her homophobic, lots of people said she was entitled, not a minority, and had no idea what she was talking about.

Now, I don't know what it's like to be gay and to be afraid to let the people around you and the world in general know that you are gay. BUT I do know what it is like to be a Christian in the field of science.

There are scientists who are Christian. The two are NOT mutually exclusive. But throughout my education, I have been extremely aware of people who think that Christians are idiots.

I have been afraid of admitting to peers and professors that I am Christian because I am afraid that they will think that I am stupid (my intelligence is very important to me), I am afraid that I will be rejected, I am afraid that it will hurt relationships.

I don't actively try to hide the fact that I am a Christian, but I don't try to reveal it either.

I recently began my Master's of Science in Marine Biology at Texas A&M at Galveston. It is a science and engineering focused school. There are few religious organizations on campus. I don't know if I am actually in the minority on campus, but it feels like I am.

It stings when you are at work and you hear someone say, "Don't you just hate it when someone posts something religious on facebook? Doesn't that make you uncomfortable?" As though you aren't allowed to post your opinions or religious affiliation on social media. Or that it is socially forbidden. That it is taboo.

The United States of America was founded on religious freedom. It is in the 1st Amendment of the Bill of Rights. That shows just how important it is. But we have moved away from freedom of religion to freedom from religion.

Religious people are often looked down on. Christians are often looked down on.

I don't what to be thought less of for being a Christian anymore than a gay person wants to be thought less of for being gay. We are all people, regardless of our religious affiliation, sexual orientation, race, nationality, gender, sex, hair color... and we deserve to be treated as such.

Know one should have to hide who they are for fear of being mocked, rejected, ostracized, belittled, or hurt.

You don't have to like me, but would you mind at least trying to get to know me before you make that decision?

That's my two cents.

-Sharon

Engagement Season

Recently I heard a Kay Jewelers commercial that said it was "engagement season." I scoffed and said to my mother that I thought there was no particular engagement season; people just got engaged whenever the guy (or whoever is doing the proposing) feels its the correct time. She agreed with me.

But in the past month, two of my friends have gotten engaged, one friend got married, and my sister got married.

In June, one of my best friends got married.

Several girls in my sorority got engaged and married in the spring and over the summer.

So I don't really know if its "engagement season" or not, but I do know that I am at that age where it seems like everyone around me is getting engaged and married.

I'm happy for all of them, I am.

But it's hard.

It's hard not to see what they have and want it too. It's hard not to be a *little* bit jealous. It's hard not to feel a little inferior.

Now, dear reader, if you know exactly what I'm talking about, let me tell you, you are not inferior because you aren't getting engaged or married. There is nothing wrong with you because you aren't engaged. Wherever you are in your life, whatever you are doing right now, is exactly right for you.

I have a boyfriend who I would like to marry. I would really like him to get down on one knee with a ring and propose. But he hasn't. And that's okay. There is nothing wrong with me or with him or with us, just because we aren't engaged and planning a wedding.

I know that I tend to rush toward the next thing and not enjoy where I am. So maybe, I should just enjoy this time of being able to be my own person. Of only being responsible to myself, only having to cook for myself, clean up after myself, being able to watch whatever I want on tv, being able to write a blog post at midnight, and listen to whatever music I want however loud I want whenever I want.

That probably sounds a little selfish.

But I think before a person can be in a healthy relationship (or marriage), they must be confident of their self identity outside of a relationship. That is necessary for any person to be mentally healthy and fulfilled. And then they will be even better in a relationship.

I know its hard though. With all of these constant reminders: facebook posts, tweets, IG posts, pinterest pins, blogs, commercials, tv shows. American culture seems to put a HUGE emphasis on getting engaged and getting married.

But what we rarely say is that it is okay to be single or just dating someone. Your relationship is valid even if you don't have a big hunk of carbon on your finger. YOU are valid even if you aren't in a relationship.

I think timing is a huge thing. According to the Bible, "For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven..." (Ecclesiastes 3:1). So there is a time be single, dating, proposed to, engaged, married.

And if you aren't at the time as everyone around you, so what? Your clock is just a little different from theirs. Maybe their clock runs fast, maybe yours runs a little slow. Maybe they are in a different time zone than you. It really doesn't matter.

All that matters is you are where you are and it is the perfect place for right now. Don't rush it. Just enjoy it.

For what its worth, my boyfriend knows that I *really* wanna be engaged and sometimes he feels as though if a stranger were to propose to me, I would jump up and down and get excited and say yes. He sometimes feels that I just want the ring and the wedding and that I don't care who the other person is. He says I'm "ring hungry" (this phrase sounds like it would be on Urban Dictionary, but last I checked it wasn't. Weird, right?). I absolutely do care. But the fact that he ever thinks that tells me there is something not quite right with our relationship. It shows me that I need to be better at communicating just how important he is to me.

And when the time is right, it will be our turn to be engaged.

Don't be ring hungry,

Sharon

Introvert Seeking Christian Community in Grad School

Let me begin by defining a few terms for you.

Introvert (this one, I probably should have defined in one of my first posts) -

According to dictionary.com, an introvert is "1. a shy person." or in psychology "a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings (opposed to extrovert)."

That is almost how I would describe myself. My definition of introvert is slightly different. To me, an introvert is a quiet person who spends a lot of time within themselves. They may or may not like people, but they tend to shy away from contact with new people. In fact, contact with new people tends to make them uncomfortable. But, when around people they know well, they come out of their shells and may be quite animated. Generally, introverts do better with one-on-one or small group interactions. They may seem socially awkward at times. But, even introverts need support systems and communities. Sometimes, they may long for interaction with other people.

Christian Community -

You may come across a multitude of different definitions of this phrase if you google it. To me Christian community is a group of people whom you "do life with." These are people you meet with regularly, people you study the word with, pray with and for, ask to pray for you, share your struggles, and burdens with. Christian community is about sharing your life with others. It is having a support group who help you through struggles, root for you, build you up, and you do the same for them. You learn from each other and worship together.



Now it is only within the last few years that I have learned about Christian community. I grew up in the Church, but I didn't understand how you could be vulnerable with other people and be safe. I didn't understand the value of Christian community until the last two years. I started to want it when I was in college, but I ignored the desire my freshman and sophomore years. All at the same time, I started to see the value in Christian community. My parents started going to a very small church that was very welcoming and my junior year of college I joined Phi Lamb and Chi Alpha at Texas State. I don't know why, but things that had never clicked before started clicking with me within these groups. I had had church friends and I had talked about God with my friends and my parents, but something was changing within me.

Now, I miss that very much.

I miss having a Christian community to go to every week. I miss having people pray for me, I miss having people to worship with. I miss learning about the personal lives of the people in my Christian community. I miss seeing God work within my Christian communities.

I am still somewhat connected with those communities and I can (and do) go to them for support and prayer when I need it. I know that my Big is only a text away and that my sisters and friends are willing to pray if I only go and ask on the facebook page.

But I don't have a community to go be a part of each week.

Seeking a community is a struggle for me. I've been going to church on Sundays, but I haven't been interacting with a Christian community here in this new town, on this new campus. Seeking out a community is scary for me. I hate entering situations where I know no one. And thus far into the semester, it has prevented me from seeking out a community on campus. I have made a few friends, but I can feel that familiar desire, that desire to be actively connected with a body of believers where I am.

I am going to have to seek it out, even if it scares me. I'll probably text some of my new friends to see if they are connected with a group here so that I can tag along with them. And if they aren't, I can invite them to seek out a group with me. Having one person I know will make it that much less scary.

Usually graduate students don't get involved with organizations on their campus. They don't get into the spirit of the school. I'm not sure why, but that seems to be the case. But, I feel a pull; I need to be a part of a Christian community here.

I worry that my options are limited. TAMUG is first and foremost a science and engineering school. And, generally, scientists and engineers aren't known for being Christians, though some are. I know there is a YoungLife group on campus, so I may check that out. If it doesn't seem like the right fit for me, I know some local churches have college groups, and if I feel so led, I could even start a new group on campus.

That's where I am right now. I am an introverted graduate student, cautiously and nervously seeking Christian community. Hopefully, I find the place I need to be.

Love,

Sharon

Money, Money, Money: It's a Rich Man's World

Let me first apologize for not posting for about a month. I have been busy getting into the swing of grad school, a new job, things related to my sister's wedding, and have barely had any time to even think about posting a blog. I'm trying, I really am, but maybe there's no point in posting something when you don't have anything to say.

Right now I actually do have something to say. Let me warn you that this is a long post, but I hope that you'll stick it out til the end.

A few nights ago, I went to the grocery store and spent $115 which is A) the most I've ever spent at the grocery store B) more than I make in a week and C) about 20% of my rent. I pretended it was no big deal externally, while having a minor conniption internally, but I somehow calmed myself down. I exited the store, found my car, and loaded up my groceries. As I was putting the last few bags in my car I heard a quiet voice say, "Excuse me, ma'am?" I turned toward the man, "Could you help me buy a McDonald's sandwich?" I turned to my purse and dug around for my wallet; when I found it and was looking to see what I had, he was saying, "I've already got a little bit, if you could just give me like $0.27?" I handed him a $5. "God bless you." He said, I murmured something and he got onto his bike and rode away. He was missing teeth and looked a little bit dirty, but really not too bad.

On the drive home, I reflected on what I had done. Had I done the right thing? Was he really going to buy food? After awhile, I came to the conclusion that it didn't matter what he did with the money. I hoped he would use it for food, but I had done my part and could only hope for the best for this man who had approached me in the Randall's parking lot.

Back at my apartment, I plugged my phone in and set it on the arm of the couch while I cooked my supper. It slid off the arm and hit the floor. When I finally went over to it, I discovered the screen had shattered, though it still worked. I was frustrated and mentally began comparing myself to Job.

You know Job don't you? Job is the man in the Bible who is the subject of the devil's experiment. According to the story, God allows the devil to take everything away from Job. The devil thinks that Job will turn against God. God knows that Job won't. Jobs children and wife die, his home is destroyed, and I don't remember what else he loses, but its pretty bad.

And I had the audacity to compare myself to Job?

I wasn't mad at God. But I was a little frustrated. I had just given money to a man to help him buy dinner even though I am in debt and had just spent a ridiculous sum at the grocery store. Why were all of these bad things happening to me?

God doesn't work that way, though. The world doesn't work that way. Karma is not a thing. It seems like if you do good things, good things should happen to you, but that isn't true. In the New Testament, in the story of the rich young ruler (Mark 10:17-31), the apostles are concerned because they have given up everything to follow Jesus. They ask him if they will be rewarded and he tells them on earth: maybe; in heaven: definitely (Mark 10: 28-31). We have to remember that, as Christians, our reward is not of this earth, it is in heaven.

But that isn't my point.

The next afternoon I went to AT&T to get a new cell phone, thinking that I would be able to just get a free upgrade since I had had that phone for like four years. But AT&T basically doesn't do that anymore. Would nothing go my way? So after a long phone call with my dad, I got the least expensive phone available with AT&T Next (which I really did not want to sign up for, but I did because supposedly it was the most cost effective option). A low amount would be added to my family's monthly bill and I paid the tax in store. I was honestly worried that my card would be declined for the tax because of my expensive groceries the night before.

That night, I had insomnia, as I often do. That particular night, I couldn't sleep because I was thinking of all of my financial burdens: rent, food, loans, interest on said loans, gas. And I was incredibly stressed. I began a mental downward spiral. I second guessed my decision to get a new cell phone. I second guessed my decision to take out loans to come to grad school. I worried that I would graduate with my Master's degree and not be able to find a job to pay off my loans. What if I could never pay off my loans?

All of our lives we are taught that money is power. Even if it is never said explicitly. We hear phrases like "money talks," we see that candidates with the most money in their campaigns often win elections. We need money for our basic needs: food, shelter, clothing. If you don't have money, you are powerless, you are weak. You are the man asking a 23 year old for money to buy a burger from McDonald's. That is what our society says, anyway. We value the glitz and glamour of people with lots of money. We envy them; we think that if we can just have as much money as them, we will be happy.

We look down on people who are poor. We judge them. We assume that they are lazy and if they would just go get a job they would be fine. We resent them. We HATE them.

We HATE them.

Why?

Because they have no money.

So they must be lazy. They must be useless. They must be self-entitled.

So we snub them. Because they are less fortunate than we are.

I know people who call themselves Christ followers and yet they HATE these people.

Why? Because we believe that worth comes from money.

And that's why I was stressing out and spiraling downward. If I was under a load of loans, if I end up with no money, I thought that that would mean that I was powerless, weak, stupid, useless, worthless.

It isn't true.

That man in the Randall's parking lot is loved by God just as much as I am. He may not have enough money to buy a burger at McDonald's, but God rejoices over that man daily. God kisses his forehead. God holds him in the palm of his hand. God says to him, "You are my beloved. You are my creation. You are precious to me."

So I think this is what God had been training me for. This scary situation where I was getting into debt to pursue the passions that he instilled within me. When I doubt myself, it is because I am not relying on him. I am not trusting him to be faithful to me as he always has been.

He has been specifically faithful to me with finances within the last several months. He has been preparing me for the anxieties that he knew I would encounter. He has been preparing me for the self-doubt. He has been training me to believe that even though I don't have the money right now, he will provide it. He will provide a job, or a stipend, or a scholarship to pay off my loans or to keep me from taking out more loans. I don't know how, I don't know when, but I do know that my God is faithful and he will provide.

Blessings Until Next Time,

Sharon

Thoughts on Death

Today, a cat my family had for most of my life (around 15-17 years) died.

A few weeks ago, a friend's fiancee was killed in an accident involving a drunk driver.

Numerous police officers have been killed.

Since April, two of my very own pets (ducks) were killed by a raccoon. A bird my sister rescued died during the summer.

Lots of people die every day.

So death has been on my mind a lot.

I don't deal with death well.

I don't like it.

I want to live in a world where people and animals don't have to die.

Death robs us of the people and animals we love the most. Those who we feel we cannot live without. Those who we never imagined living without. It breaks our heart and our soul. It rocks our world.

And yet, we look around and see that even though our world is crumbling around us, no one else seems to realize that our world has changed forever. They just go about their lives as though everything is exactly the same. But it isn't.

And perhaps, that is the most heartbreaking part of death, or any loss. No one else is affected. No one else seems to notice just how much the world has changed. We feel isolated. No one else seems to understand.

We have a hole in our hearts that will not heal with time. Our lives, our worlds are changed forever in ways that others simply don't understand. We continue to live. Even with this ache in our hearts that may dull with time, but will never completely heal. We will carry their memory with us, we will continue to love them. We will miss them terribly until we one day are reunited.

Some of you may think that I am overreacting to the death of a pet. But really this is something that has been building up inside me over time.

But I am also heartbroken over the death of this cat. I could try to explain how special she was but you just couldn't understand that she truly was (and is) as dear to me as a best friend is to you.

And if you are grieving over a loss, whether recent or in the past, know that you are not alone. While the world may not feel the particular ache that you feel, and may not miss whoever you miss, we all have a hole in our hearts and a longing for someone who we can only guess when we will see them again.

We love you, Oreo.
We love all those who have left us.

Peace,

Sharon

Going to Grad School: Signing the Lease

You've been approved for your apartment and its time to sign your lease!

Usually a representative of the apartment will go through the lease with you and show you where to initial, sign, and date the document. Even though they will offer a brief summary of each page, it is SO important  that you read each page and section, you need to know what you are agreeing to. A lease is a legally binding document.

Usually at the same that you sign the lease, the guaranty form will need to be completed. This form should be completed by someone (usually a parent or guardian) who agrees to pay your rent for you if you don't for some reason.

There may be additional forms filled out at this time as well. Such as pet or vehicle information.

You may also need to submit your security deposit at this time if you haven't already.

There is often a Community Policy Handbook that you will have to sign and agree to abide by.

Again, be sure to read everything that you sign!

Soon, it will be time to move in!

Unitl then,

Sharon

Going to Grad School: Applying for your Apartment

Congratulations! You've found your ideal apartment; so now it's time to apply!

If you can, I reccommend applying in person, that way the leasing agent or apartment representative will be able to ensure that your application is complete.

If you can't apply in person, don't fret! Many apartments allow you to apply online either through a form online or you may be able to fax or email the application to the apartment manager.

In addition to the actual application, you will usually need to pay an application fee, some complexes require you to submit your deposit with your application, they may request a copy of your ID, and most students require a guarantor so there is often a form for your potential guarantor to sign.

Once your application is complete, the complex will likely look into your credit history, perform a criminal background check, and often check your rental history.

As long as everything comes back clear; you'll be approved and it'll be time to sign the lease! I'll be back next time with some advice on signing the lease.

Good luck,

Sharon

Going to Grad School: Finding a Place to Live

During the spring semester of my senior year at Texas State University, I applied to the master's non-thesis Marine Biology IDP program at TAMUG. I was accepted.

At first I wasn't sure if I was going to go or not, but after I applied for a ton of jobs, I hoped that that was a signal from the man upstairs that I should go ahead and go to grad school.

This meant that I had to find a place to live in Galveston. But as I'm about four hours away, that is quite difficult.

I googled Apartments in Galveston, TX which did return results, but ultimately wasn't that helpful. I looked on craigslist for apartments which helped me find two possible complexes and I looked up apartment locators in Galveston. However, the most useful resource was from the University's website.

Many Universities have information about off-campus living. This is probably the most reliable resource you can use. Although TAMUG requires all undergraduate students to live on campus, they have a listing of apartments which are willing to work with students, this listing also included what the rental rates were and what was included.

What to look for:

1. Rent - First, make yourself an approximate budget and determine how much you can afford in monthly rent. Do not look at apartments that are above your price range.

2. Utilities - Some apartments which are geared toward students will include all or some amount of the utilities. But it is very important to know what you are expected to pay. At my two apartments in San Marcos, no utilities were included. The electricity was metered and paid through the city, which worked out quite well. At my first apartment gas and water were allocated (water was allocated at my second apartment), which frustrated me. This means that your water bill is dependent on the entire building's water usage, which is then divided by the number and square footage of the units. So it is very difficult to control bills for utilities that are allocated. Utilities also tend to change from month to month so when rent includes all of your  utilities, budgeting is a lot easier.

3. Proximity to campus - I prefer to live within walking distance to campus, but if you don't mind living further and driving to and from school then you can increase your search radius. Often, apartments further from campus are less expensive. Also, if yur school has a bus system, its a good idea to look for an apartment that is either on the bus route or within walking distance of a bus stop.

4. Lease length - Often student's only live in the college town during the school year. If you plan to go home during the summer, it's a good idea to look for an apartment that offers 9 moth lease terms. But often, you may be stuck with a 12 month lease.

5. Roommates - Living with roommates is often less expensive, but can introduce new issues. Living in an apartment that offers "by-the-bed" leasing can help to reduce tensions because you aren't responsible for your roommates rent. If you would like to have roommates to save money, but don't have anyone to live with, keep in mind that many apartments do "roommate matching" though it should be noted that they may not try that hard to match you with someone. I have friends who say that you should not live with friends, because it may ruin the friendship. While this isn't true of everyone, I have seen it happen. If you do live with roommates, I recommend suggesting a "Roommate Agreement" which may help ease tension and reduce future problems. Just remember, you have to stick to the roommate agreement, not just your new roommate.

6. Do you have pets that you will be bringing with you? Most apartments have a pet deposit or pet rent. Some complexes have breed restrictions on dogs. These are things to be aware of when looking for your apartment.

Once you've found your ideal apartment, it's time to apply! I'll talk about that in my next post.

Happy hunting,

Sharon

Let's Catch Up

Well, since graduation I haven't really posted anything. So you have no idea what's going on with me.

Since graduation, I've been doing a whole lot of nothing. I was in a friend's wedding in June which was a huge privilege. I have applied for a lot of jobs and gotten zero interviews (which means zero offers). My grandma had a heart attack in July and I've been helping my mom take care of her. I've also decided to move forward with going to graduate school which is expensive, but maybe that will be a later blog post.

So yeah, that's what I've been up to over this very exciting summer.

I promise to post more often.

xoxo

Sharon

the Commencement Address you will never hear

Yesterday, I (sorta) graduated from college! In response to said event, I thought about what it would be nice to hear and wrote my own commencement address:

Congratulations! After four years (give or take) of hard work, you're finished! Today we are celebrating what you set out to achieve and have achieved. After all of the papers, tests, projects, group projects, presentations, and finals, you're finished! I think we should all take a moment to just take a deep breath.
I hope that you are not living for the future. The future is not just tomorrow, it is here: it is today. It was yesterday. Whether you are going to start a job, go to graduate school, or even if you have absolutely no idea what you are doing after you cross the stage, you are living your future. Make the most of it: enjoy it! Don't worry about what you think the next step is.
Now, I will not welcome you to the real world. Because college is very much the real world. Over the years, many of you have taken out huge amounts of loans, paid bills, worked jobs, lived paycheck to paycheck, learned to budget your money, and, hopefully, your time. These are all realities of the real world, that some would have you believe you are only just entering. Yes, life is about to change no matter what your post grad plans are, but I believe college has prepared you, in some way for your future.
Don't forget where you came from. Be proud of where you came from. People may judge you, but don't let them put you in a box. Don't allow them to nullify everything you have worked for. People are going to discount you. They are going to judge you because of your sex, your age, your gender, where you come from. They are going to tell you what you should do and what you can't do. My hope is that as you go into the post-grad world, your mantra will be: "Don't believe me; just watch."
Don't live to please or appease others. Yes, sometimes life requires those things. And it feels good to be validated by others. But don't live for that validation. Someone is always going to think they know better than you. Older siblings arw never going to forget they are older than you. Find your passion, your dream. And go get it! Take risks and make mistakes. Live! I promise you, if they have stood by you this far through the experiment of college, they will stand by you through the journey of life. It is your journey, other people's "shoulds" cannot guide you, you must follow the compass of your own heart. There will be times where your loved ones think you should be doing something else; recite your mantra to them: "don't believe me; just watch."

NaPoWriMo: Finishing Up!

Obviously NaPoWriMo has been over for a few days now, how sad! Unfortunately, I had a lot of things going on so I was unable to finish at the time. But I am just going to go ahead and do my last two posts right here, right now! Also, I want to thank Maureen Thorson for running napowrimo.net and any fellow NaPoWriMo-ers who visited my blog, read, commented, encouraged, creeped, what have you. All because of NaPoWriMo, my pageviews on my little unappreciated blog skyrocketed and that was very exciting for me! I also got my first ever review of any of my work (another thank you to Maureen for being so kind and featuring my blog early on). It has been a wonderful experience to write poems regularly and to read other people's poems. Hopefully, I will keep up the habit of writing poems frequently because it can be very cathartic and calming to me. Without further ado:


Day 29
Prompt: Write a Review Poem

Napowrimo.net
provides a poetry prompt each day in April
provides a poetry resource each day in April
features a participating poet each day in April.
It was quite an enjoyable thing
To see others my praises sing
(That isn't very humble of me...)
It was quite a challenging thing
To create a new poem to bring
To respond to the new prompt each day
It helps poets, novices and masters, alike
To refine their art
It creates a modern community
To make sure there is no discontinuity
In poetry being written
And encouragement being given
An enjoyable experience indeed
NaPoWriMo.net, I give you five stars
Forever in your debt,
Sharon


Day 30
Prompt: Write a poem backwards (oh no.... so for this poem, you will want to read from the bottom up, although it might be interesting to read from top down, we shall see)

Goodbye
I think its time we said
But really
I never wanted to hurt you
My love does not spontaneously combust
But it can't
So we can start where we left off
You just want the fire to burn brightly
You don't want to try to ignite a spark
But you aren't willing to try and start fresh
To the kind that refuses to go out
It might grow from a small slow fire
And cared for,
Provided with fuel,
Protected,
Perhaps a spark, could relight it
Like the ashes of a fire, the embers long burnt out
But inside my feelings are all dead
That you believe I love you too
That you see us together
You say you love me
So that a fresh piece of wick could be lit
The wax would need to be cut off
The wick is too low and burnt to be lit anymore
I am like a candle that has burned too hot for too long
And cold to such feelings
It turns mute
A burned heart does not want to speak the language of love
But I have been burned too much before
I can tell what you want
By the look in your eyes
You say
"Hello"


I think it works reading either way, but it makes a smidge more sense if you read from the bottom up.

Fare-thee-well NaPoWriMo,

Sharon

NaPoWriMo Day 28

Wow, wow, wow. We are in the home stretch of NaPoWriMo 2015 now! And I am in the home stretch of the semester too! Everything is coming to a close simultaneously. Time needs to s l o w down.

Today's prompt is to write a poem about a bridge.



There is a bridge I know
I've never seen the other end though

It stands precariously
Crossing over a stream

The other end is shrouded in fog
And honestly, it is nothing more than a log

In the past I have ignored that path
But I've spent time doing the math

It seems that my time here is coming to an end
So I must venture across the riverbend

And I can't help but wonder,
when I venture into the mist,
what will I find?

xoxo

-Sharon

NaPoWriMo: Day 27

All caught up now! Did you see that the times my poems were posted on the blog corresponded with the dates they were *supposed* to be posted? Yes, no, maybe so. The time of this one doesn't, so you don't need to check.

Anyway now that I'm all caught up, April is almost over! Can you believe it? Between writing a poem every day and the semester winding down, this has been a crazy month, but it is almost over! For better or for worse! Hopefully, I'll be able to stay on top of things these last few days of NaPoWriMo (though I've got a lot to do, other than writing poetry).  And even if you don't plan to follow my blog after April is over (it'll go back to my random ramblings and sporadic posts, and hopefully I'll get a few cooking posts up finally!) there will be some graduation/commencement prose posted around May 16th and I plan to be back for NaPoWriMo again in 2016! I have enjoyed sharing this journey with you! I hope that you've enjoyed my work (I've enjoyed the poems I've read on your blogs this month) and I hope that maybe you'll stop by for a visit every now and again and hopefully I'll see you next April! If I do publish any poems here (even outside of NaPoWriMo) they will always have the tag poetry.

Alright time for Day 27's poem.
Prompt: hay(na)ku

College
is almost
over, what then?

-Sharon

NaPoWriMo: Day 26

Day 26
Prompt: Persona Poem

Cinderella

Could you imagine if your life depended on a shoe?
My sisters are crazy
They let my mother cut off their toes and heel
To fit into my tiny shoe
Yes, it never ceases to amaze me
Yes, yes, it is true.
But after that the prince tried me
Much to the horror of my step-mother
It never occurred to her
That technically I am her daughter too
My sisters aren't so bad
Though everyone here thinks they're terrible
They are just spoiled
And a little weak-minded
Really, they are just the puppets
Of a cruel puppet master
She will twist them any which way
To bend the outcome of events to her will
So I guess its best that she never considered me her child
Even though all my life I tried to gain her affection
Maybe the problem was that I was too smart
And refused to be manipulated
I wonder what she will do now
That the prince and I are getting married
Will she pretend to be the loving mother
That she's never been to any of us three
There's a reason that her first husband left her
And my father died because he couldn't bear her
She is quite overbearing
Trying to be puppet-master over all those she claims to care about.
What's that?
For the wedding?
Oh yes, this dress will do.

-Sharon

NaPoWriMo: Day 25

Day 25:
Prompt: write a clerihew

Matthew of Seguin
Was not made to be king
It was in the cards
That instead, he should mow yards.

-Sharon

NaPoWriMo; Day 24

Day 24

Prompt: write a parody or satire based on another poem. I'm using The Raven by E.A. Poe as it is one of my favorites, though I'm sure I won't do it justice. I kept a lot of Poe's old lines or pieces of lines and just modified it to fit my story. Of course Poe's is better and I couldn't write mine as long as his. So mine is 5 stanzas while the original is 18.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,

Over many a boring volume of lecture notes spread across the floor—

    While I sat there, so close to sleeping, suddenly there came a thumping,

As of my neighbors partying, loudly partying next door.

“’Tis not that loud,” I muttered, “really they are quiet, the sounds coming from next door—

            Almost inaudible and nothing more.”

    Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak February;

And I had to rise early the next morning to go on a tour.

    Eagerly I wished for slumber;—but sleep was quiet encumbered

    By the noises emanating — emanating from next door—

No though I searched for it without ceasing I could not find that sweet slumber—

            Nameless here for evermore.

    And the bass pounding from the music

Riled me—filled my room with tremendous noises never heard before;

    So that now, to find sleep, I lay repeating

    “’Tis really not that loud the sounds emanating from next door—

Some soft music quietly seeping from next door;—

            This it is and nothing more.”

    Presently my desire grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,

“Please,” said I, “be quiet, so that I may get some sleep I implore;

    But the fact is you are partying, and I ought to be sleeping,

    And so barely your music was pounding, pounding from next door,

But of this I suspect you were unaware”—here music seemed to cease from next door;—

            But it was only a pause and nothing more.

    And the music, never ceasing, persists pounding, persists pounding

Through the wall between my bed and my neighbors next door;

    And the music has all the seeming of a party that is teeming,

    And the speakers pound the music still louder than before;

And my slumber during that loud music thumping next door

            Shall be found—nevermore!

-Sharon

NaPoWriMo: Day 23

First of all let me apologize for not posting on time. The school year at my university is winding to a close which means that this time period is especially busy and stressful. Hopefully I will be able to play catch up today and be on top of my poem writing game!

Since I am so many days behind I am just going to post poems one at a time rather than all of them in one post.

Day 23
Prompt: Randomly pick a card from a deck of cards and write about it then turn your prose into poetry. Not exactly what I'm going to do because a) I don't have a deck of cards and b) I don't feel like writing prose and editing it down to poetry at the present moment.

Are we an ace in the hole?
We went bust before
Deal me in again
And we can give this a shot once more
Hit me and we'll see
If we've got the winning combination
Though the bets are weighed against us
Bets don't determine the winner
In Lady Las Vegas
You aren't the dealer
I'm not the house
So it'll take sheer luck
To win this round
Let the chips fall
Where they may
And we can play a different game
If this one doesn't pay.

Sharon

NaPoWriMo Day 22 & 21

Ever since I fell off the band-wagon a couple of days ago, I have been having trouble keeping up with writing a poem every day.Yesterday, I was inspired by ducks and geese and nature and general, but even though I had a journal, I realized I didn't have the pen. So the words were given to nature and I have forgotten them.

Since I missed yesterday, today is gonna be a twofer.

Day 22
Prompt: Pastoral poem....The poem I wanted to write yesterday would've been perfect for this prompt! Oh well. I shall draw on my inspiration from yesterday to try and write this poem.


In the hour or so before the sun goes down
If you tread quietly you may enter
A room not many have occasion to visit.
In this room there is barely space for myself.
I happened upon it by accident the other day
But having no obligations for hours,
I chose to stay.
The first inhabitant I noticed was a duck
Laying lonesome on the ground.
He looked at me
And I at him
I wondered, where was his friend?
He did not know if I was friend or foe
So though, he was tired and wanted sleep
He kept his eye open on me.
I lay on the grass near him for awhile
And watched the surface of a nearby pond
I could tell that there was something in the water
By the occasional splash
Finally, I got up and moved closer to the water
And found another duck
Searching for dinner in the muck
I gave her her space,
Respect is the only way you can remain in this place
I watched her working for her meal for a moment
Before I continued to move deeper into the room.
Accidentally, I spooked a wary vulture from his roost.
I found a pair of geese and their pair of goslings
Laying in the grass as nervous parents wondered
If I were friend or foe.
I gave them their space because I did not want to be attacked by geese, you know?
Respect is so important to the inhabitants of this room.
I sat on the ground next to the vultures vacated roost
And watched a heron slowly stalk his dinner
Though I never saw him eat
He slowly moved along the bank
Looking for a meal, his hunger to satiate.
I soon had to leave the room though
And past by the heron
Who not knowing if I were friend or foe
Moved slowly toward the other bank.
I was sorry that I had to go
But I had obligations to keep
But nature is always there
If we will only tread on quiet feet.






Day 21:
Prompt: An erasure. I was having trouble deciding what passage of writing to use, so I just chose this one from one of my pinterest boards. It was sort of difficult for me to eliminate words because I do like this passage a lot. But I think it was transformed at least a little bit.

Happy Earth Day, everyone!

Sharon

NaPoWriMo: Day 20, 19, 16

Today is a threebie because I missed yesterday and Friday and if I don't catch up now I'm never going to.


Day 20
Prompt - Things I know

I know you work two jobs
And school really stresses you out
Your family depends on you more than they should.
But I also know
That people in love are supposed to want to spend time together
Even if they are tired
Or too busy
Or barely keeping their head above water.

I know you think you love me
I know you once loved me
But I also know that you don't seem to love me anymore
I know you won't admit it to yourself
Because I know you still feel guilty about what you did to me
I know that you are trying to do right by me
But I think we are at the point where doing right by each other
Means letting go

But I also know you won't do that
I know its exhausting
This back and forth we have
But I know we haven't been okay in a long time
I know we are okay as friends
But I know you think you want more
But the second you try to put love into this equation,
It combusts.

I know we aren't doing this right,
But I know that I don't think we can.
I know we've put a lot of time into this
But I think we've been past the end for awhile now.

I know all of the reasons it won't work
I know you don't want to hear them.
But I'm starting to think its time:

I know we want different things
I know you want to spend the rest of your life here
But I know I want to spend my life by the sea
I want adventure
But you want to settle
I want to go to church
But you just plain don't
I want to go out
But you always want to stay in
I know that you believe that blood is thicker than water
(Even though you once told me that wasn't true)
But I know it by the way you act
I know your family will always come first -
Before me, even if I was family
Staying here means giving up my dreams
And I so want to chase them
I know that I can't stay here for the rest of my life and be happy
My soul and my tears and my sweat are seawater
My heart is there - on the beach,
which reminds me
I know I love the beach
I know it is your least favorite place.
I know my emotions are tumultuous
Like a sea: calm one moment and stormy the next,
But I know that isn't something wrong with me
I feel more than most people
I let my emotions get the best of me
I know that is too much for you to handle
I know that it is too difficult for you to understand
Sometimes it is for me too
But its me.
The person that you say you love.

I know that this must stab your heart like a knife
The truth often does
But I think it is time we wake up from this dream that refuses to work
Shake hands and follow our hearts
And then we can both be happy
Separate, but happy.


Day 19
Prompt: Landay

Don't bother coming over if you are just gonna work on homework and be on your phone
And don't try to make me feel bad about it the next day when you are misreading my tone.

Day 16
Prompt: Terzanelle

A You snubbed me so I painted my toes
B And so now we are playing the waiting game again
A You acted like it was no big deal so I changed my clothes


b You say you love me but you can't be bothered to be a good friend
C We've done this more than once before
B And so now we are playing the waiting game again

c You find it easy, my feelings to ignore
D When I start to leave, you say all the right things
C We've done this more than once before


d As you start talking, a warning bell rings
E You only try when I decide to leave
D That's when you say all the right things


e I only needed you to come help me grieve
F I really think it's time for me to bid adieu
E But you only try when I decide to leave


f You can't be bothered to ask a simple, "How are you?"
A You snubbed me so I painted my toes
F I really think it's time for me to bid adieu
A You acted like it was no big deal so I changed my clothes.


And with one fell swoop I am back on the bandwagon! I don't feel any better even though I've processed my raw, unhappy emotions though.... For the Terzanelle, I had trouble because once I got into one rhyming scheme my brain wanted to stick with it and I was like, "No, I only have 2 lines of -oes/ -ore / -ings." I made it through three poems! Huzzah! I'm just glad I got caught up! They are a little rough....Oh well, time to study for a test....

-Sharon

NaPoWriMo Day 18

Today's prompt is to write a poem that involves an urgent journey and an important message.

GRADUATION IS COMING
She ran through the campus
Up hills down hills straight through the quad
Past the statue of LBJ
All the way to the bookstore to get her cap and gown
But they were out!
GRADUATION IS COMING
All the seniors can be found
With their noses in the books
And they won't come up til May
GRADUATION IS COMING
The cry rings out
Some seniors are excited
But others are anxious
GRADUATION IS COMING
But there's still so much to do
Two papers,
One presentation
One quiz
Two tests
Three finals.
GRADUATION IS COMING
We're in the home stretch now
A little less than a month
And we'll be walking across that stage
Jumping in the river
And moving
But first we gotta run
Because
GRADUATION IS COMING

Not exactly what I was hoping for. But I'm listening to music while working on this so that probably messed me up. But I can mess around with it and tweak it.

-Sharon

NaPoWriMo Day 17

I forgot to write a poem yesterday. Hopefully I will find the time to catch up over the weekend.

Today though I am just so sad, my heart is heavy, and my soul is quiet and mournful. A great tragedy occurred where I went to high school. A student shot himself this morning and this afternoon it was confirmed that he died. He was the son of a police officer. While I probably didn't know him, my heart is broken for him and his family, the other students, faculty, staff, police department, and the community in general.
I haven't looked at the prompt today, but this is the poem I feel like writing.


I don't know who you are
And I don't know why you hurt so much
We are all a little broken
And this life is too much to bear - alone.
Did you feel alone?
Did you have so much hurt inside that
This seemed like the only way out?
My dear, do you know that you are loved?
That we all wanted you here - on this earth?
You were never alone
Never are alone
We love you
We miss you
We wish you were home.

And hopefully, you are at home - in heaven
With the Father who loves you so very much

I wish that I had been there
To hug you
To tell you that I love you very much
That you are worthwhile
Maybe you would've smiled
I would have told you not to be scared
That life is hard sometimes,
Hard often
I would have sat and talked to you for hours

I am sorry that you were in so much pain
I am sorry that this seemed like the only way
And now my tears fall down with the rain

This earth is not the same - without you.

I know that I don't know you,
But I love you.

If it creeps up on you in the dark of night
Steals into your heart and won't let anyone inside
If it whispers in your ear and says you are alone
unworthy
unloved
unwanted.
Know that that voice does not come from above
and everything it tells you is a lie

Maybe it follows you like a shadow
Never leaves you alone
Smothers your hope
Tears you apart inside.
You are not alone
You are very much loved
Please speak up
We want to help you
To hold you
To show you just how much
we truly love you.

My deepest condolences to the family,

Sharon

NaPoWriMo - Day 15

Well we're back and it is Day 15 of NaPoWriMo. That means we are halfway through. Is it a glass half full or a glass half empty? It is both: Half full of poems written (adding more each day) and half empty of prompts. I generally enjoy the prompts very much so I'll be sad to see them go. And I'll be sadder to not have a reason that I must take a minute and write a poem each day. It has helped keep me sane this April.

The prompt is to write a poem that talks to itself, I suppose (Interpret the full prompt for yourself, here). Hmm here goes:

O, freeform verse,
why do I always write you?
Am I that enamored with you?
No, I think it is laziness
On my part.
So many poems require counting syllables
Which should be easy
But some words trip me up.
Even more require paying attention to feet.
Stressed and unstressed syllables make me crazy
I can't hear which ones I stress when I speak -
Am I monotone?
Yes, I am a person much more suited to prose.

Haiku is not bad
I like it very much but
It does seem too short.

A long time ago I wrote a limerick
But not once have I returned to that shtik
Though I liked it very much,
The funny bone I didn't touch
I simply couldn't do the trick.

(Not to mention that the first three lines are supposed to be long).
So again to you freeform verse, I return
Your lines are easy for me to learn
My heart speaks in prose
Not measured speech
With unruly metric feet.

Other forms are a challenge,
but with you I make up the rules as I go
(Do I really even have any?
The answer is probably - no.)
Sometimes I rhyme, sometimes I don't.
It isn't that I can't or won't
At some point freeform became my style
Which is odd, because if you knew me in real life
You'd know that it's by rules I abide.



Maureen was right; this prompt was good for looking at my writing process and specifically why I seem to dwell almost exclusively in freeform verse. Maybe I need to try writing in different forms? Maybe that should be a challenge I add for myself for the rest of NaPoWriMo? Do you have a form that you tend to dwell in? Why?
Want to suggest a form for me to try? Let me know!

Write away,

Sharon

NaPoWriMo Day 14: Dialogue - Conversation Hearts

Last semester, I was feeling very burned out, so I took a spiral and found a quiet spot next to a bald cypress and a pond on campus. There were some ducks on the pond and that day I wrote a poem that was a conversation between myself and the duck, which would be perfect for today's prompt, unfortunately. I'm not entirely sure where that spiral is so I'm going to write a new dialogue poem today (but not between myself and a duck).

Conversation Hearts

Half of my heart
Says it wants to fall in love with someone new.

But the other half

Says it wants to fall in love with you

Why?

The feelings are stale

The butterflies,

The fireworks,

Aren't there.

Don't you want the excitement

Of someone new?

To fall in love again

To learn someone's 

Past

Present

Dreams

Again.

He is changing I see

And I think he is the right one for me

He is comfortable

Strong

He will keep me safe

New is uncertain

And opens me up to be broken

Why would you want to break again?

To have to put everything back together again?

Someone new could break you

It is true

But he could break you too.

You've got to take risks

If you want to find love

Whether someone new or old

You might get broken

The story is untold

But the facts are these:

He broke you before,

He can do it again.

Why give him a chance again?

You say those feelings of love

Are gone

And that is true

But that is because this is old love

Not new

The point of love is not to feel the

Butterflies and the fireworks

Its years in the future

When you are old

And your husband is there by your side

As you look back on your life

You may not feel the excitement

But that doesn't mean the love is faded

You are just jaded.

Jaded? Jaded?

I am not jaded!

It is you who was jaded these past years

Angry and so full of fears.

I am ready to move forward

And take a chance

But you only want to look back

I am looking back

Accepting the good with the bad

Do you not remember,

there was more good than bad?

I am simply unwilling to give up 

On what we had.

But I want to move forward

I am looking to the future

With an eye to the past.

We had a love that might last.

I want to try again

With him

With someone new

A heart divided cannot make up its mind.

Take a chance on love, old or new,

Sharon

NaPoWriMo Day 13: Riddle Poem

Today's prompt is to write a riddle poem; all of the details are located here.


It is a journey almost completed,
A marathon almost finished
The mountain almost summited
Moments before midnight, New Year's Eve
Both question and answer
Pages til the end of one chapter
But not the ending of the novel
The light at the end of the tunnel
The last minutes of an all-nighter

It is so important to me,
What can it be?



It doesn't quite feel finished to me. But I am having trouble thinking of more ways to describe it. I know very well what it is, but I wonder if someone else could solve my riddle? What do you think it is, fellow NaPoWriMo-ers?

Riddle me this,

Sharon

NaPoWriMo Day 12

Today's prompt was an interesting one. Read it here. This poem didn't really turn out how I expected, it started in one place with a certain intention and morphed along the way. Here is my response to today's prompt.

His mother thought his eyes were "caca" brown;
I thought they were creamy like chocolate
I liked his curly, brown hair short,
Just long enough that it curled out under his hat
I liked the cowboy hats better, but nowadays he tends to wear baseball caps.
The way he smiled when he was really happy
The mischievous look in his eyes when he tried to pretend he was innocent
How he acted like a little kid when he got excited.

But when he got mad, his mouth was a straight line
His eyes were dark and cloudy
Punched his steering wheel - cut his hand open
Never aggressive toward people,
Took his anger out on inanimate things
But I knew he was someone you wouldn't want to corner.

But when he was sad, that was the worst
Hearing him cry
Trying to choke back the tears
It sounded so awful
Knowing he was so broken inside
I looked into his eyes
Saw all the way down to his broken soul
I wished I could reach in
Put the pieces back together
But I couldn't, that is something he must do himself.

And just when he was getting better
When things were starting to be okay
I began to realize
I was no longer in love with him
I still cared deeply
But not in the same way
And I will never forget the look in his eyes that day
Betrayed.

Sharon

NaPoWriMo Day 11 - Sapphic

Today's prompt is to write a poem in the form of a Sapphic. This is a poem of quatrains. Three of which have eleven syllables and the last has five. If that weren't difficult enough, it has a very specific meter associated with it....This one is going to take me awhile. Meter is always something I struggle with. I have a lot of trouble understanding stressed and unstressed syllables...The meter is a little bit forced in this poem so I have capitalized the syllables that are supposed to be stressed and inserted hyphens between syllables in one word. After working on it for awhile, here it is:

Sorr-y If this Comes as a Sur-prise To you
But i Just don't Feel how i Used to A-bout
You. i Still do Care a-bout You but I don't
            Feel the way I did

I want You to Un-der-stand I did Not mean
To stop Lov-ing You. i'm not Ev-en Sure when
My feel-Ings changed. I do still Care a-bout you.
             I was con-Fused too

I felt As though I were a-Wake-en-Ing from
A deep Sleep, re-Luc-tant-ly. Just the Way you
Try to Re-mem-Ber dreams, i Lost the Feel-ing
            Of be-ing In love

It was Not what I wanted At all But the
More i Tried to Find that place In my Heart the
Fur-ther It was, Just as i For-get My dreams
            As i a-Wake-en

Dear, do Not break Your own heart, I still Long to
Love you. Come here, Take my hand. I be-Lieve you
Still hold The key If you want To help Me fall
            For you once A-gain.

An odd feeling, but one I am feeling,

Sharon

NaPoWriMo - Day 10: Abecedarian Poem

Today's prompt is to write a poem with a structure derived from the alphabet...here goes nothing.




Always I am hungry
Bored with the usual meals
Craving something
Different, delicious
Every now and then I find the perfect snack
Feeding my stomach and satisfying my tastebuds
Generally, though my cravings are nearly insatiable. Yes I am
Hungry. Wondering what to eat for lunch. Bread smells delicious.
I am trying to wait til one, to eat with a friend but the task is impossible
Just now my stomach is tying itself in
Knots, threatening to devour itself.
Leave me alone ravenous stomach, I will feed you soon enough!
Mere minutes stand between you and food (well, thirty-two)
No, thoughts of food won't satisfy you, you threaten to announce your starvation, letting
Out an ominous growl...I know I must eat something soon
Please just calm down, I will feed you soon enough! I have gotten myself into
Quite the quandary, by trying to wait to feed you
Really, you just ought to be more patient
Still I wonder if I couldn't have a tiny snack to satiate you
Til my friend is here to eat at one
Unless, I could just eat by myself and not care
Very urgent is my stomach as it turns inwardly
Willing me to go get something to eat; if I were a plant, sugars would course through my
Xylem, and I would never feel hungry nor  would I have a stomach to aggravate me
Yes, the life of a plant sounds nice to me
Zoic, though, I am and so I have a hungry stomach, and food it demands.








I really am quite hungry. And 'zoic' is a word; it means "relating to or having animal life." Even though the prompts are sometimes difficult (like this one), I don't want April to end!

Write, write, write away

Sharon

NaPoWriMo Day 9

Sorry this is so late. Today has been a very busy day for me. I've had a lot on my mind. I'm not really feeling the prompt today. I couldn't come up with a concept I liked so I'm just going to write a random poem instead, inspired by my current mood at this very moment. Today has been an emotional roller coaster for me and right now, I am, unfortunately, in a low mood (but about 15 minutes ago, I was great...)



I see the things you think I don't
When you say one thing
But it's only a half truth
I know the things you think I don't
You think you are sly and cunning,
like a fox,
but you're not.
You're like a skunk,
Cute,
but,
I can
    see
and
    smell
and
     feel
everywhere you've been.
Your path so obvious to me
But you still think that I don't see.
I am shaking, mad, and sick
Why do you think you're so slick?
You complain about not having time
But then you go and waste it.
I won't save you anymore
That is what responsibility is for.
I'm not stupid
You aren't either
And maybe if you take responsibility
Instead of pawning it off on me,
maybe,
then, and only, then
there can be something more
but otherwise
I won't lie,
I've already got one foot out the door.

Not in a good mood, but I hope you are,

Sharon

NaPoWriMo - Day 8: Palinode

Today's prompt is to write a palinode which is, apparently, a poem that retracts a statement in a previous poem. If we don't have a statement in a poem we'd like to retract, Maureen (Ms. Thorson) suggests that we write about why we changed our mind about something instead. I think that is what I'm going to do.


There is much debate about why
I decided the summer after high school
To go here, instead of there.
My sister insists that it is because of a boy
(who later broke my heart);
She is still bitter about it
(Notice I said she, not I)
And, I suppose that is part.
But I was also scared
To be so far away from home
And I didn't have a car to make the trek
Whenever I wanted to
I would have been stuck there,
All alone,
Until a holiday
When my parents would've come to get me.
There is also the fact that they told me
That they had nowhere for me to live
But I was required to live on campus -
NO getting around it.
Where would I sleep?
I wondered.
Where would all my things go?
But here,
Is just down the road from home
I could commute
(Just 30 minutes).
There is much debate about why
I decided to go to Texas State
Instead of Texas A&M - Galveston
Even though things have worked out well
I've been on the Dean's List a few times
I joined an honor society
A Christian sorority
A Christian fellowship
I've made friends
I've gotten jobs
I've grown closer to God
I've become slightly more independent
Sometimes I'm really happy here
(When I'm not I'm usually tired, hungry, stressed, burned out).
And now I feel more confident to spread my wings
And wander further from my parents.
So really things have worked out quite well.
But all of these benefits are wiped away
When my sister says
"You should have gone to A&M Galveston"
And she blames it all on that boy, maybe unjustly.
Maybe she should thank him,
But she refuses to see
That maybe
(Just maybe)
Going to Texas State
Was the best thing
For me.



Not really sure if this qualifies as the suggested variation of a palinode, but this is my attempt for today's prompt! What do you think? Please tell, I won't bite!

Sometimes what we think is best for someone else, isn't,

Sharon

NaPoWriMo Day 7! Poem about Money

I've made it a whole week! And I'm still going strong (I think). Today's prompt is to write a poem about money. As I am a poor, college student (contemplating taking out loans to afford grad school...) I think we all know where this is going...




I go to the store
But before I check-out
I pull out my phone once more
To check my bank account and do some mental math
To see if I can afford to purchase the items I have.
I don't have enough money in my bank account
But I have some cash in my wallet
I pull out a few thin, green pieces of paper
And wonder if I should save them for later.
They feel soft and worn between my finger and thumb
And I think its odd they hold so much value
Especially to someone like me.
     I really don't like money at all:
     It brings out the worst in people
     It turns them to vice.
     It makes them greedy, angry - not at all nice.
     With our greed, we turn the same color as money - green
     We are nasty and spiteful and act for our gain
     When we could consider others instead.
But at the same time I realize that it is necessary
     Because that is how the world works
     We assign values to these pieces of paper
     And we give them to others in exchange for goods and services
The cashier is staring at me now
A scowl forming on his face
I haven't handed him the money
I've just been staring at it in my hand
And I'm not sure if I should save the money or spend it
Money is for spending, I rationalize
It won't go with me when I leave this earth
So I may as well use the money for what I can.
Reluctantly I hand it over,
Take my things and walk out the store
And there in the parking lot
Is a mother and children
Who could use the money I just spent
Way more than me...

-Sharon

An Easter Aubade and Another Aubade

I am really enjoying writing a poem every day (so far). I am having a lot of fun and people actually like my stuff, so that's encouraging. Today's prompt really seemed like it had a lot of potential so I decided to write two more aubades! These aren't officially for NaPoWriMo, but I just can't help myself.




Easter Aubade

They got up early that Sunday morning
To do a most solemn thing
They went to the tomb
To find the body of their friend - and king.
It was a happy morning,
The sun gently caressing the earth,
The air cool and misty,
The birds singing.
And to them, it seemed so wrong that the world was happy
For their friend had died - been crucifed - and they had cried.
But when they got their, they were confused
His body was removed!
If this were a joke, they weren't amused.
But someone from the garden spoke
And those silly girls didn't recognize him
They thought he was the gardener
And asked where his body was
He answered with their names.

Just as he does today,
He calls each of us by name.
We have been washed in his blood
Made pure and new.
He suffered and died
So that we might be able to live at his side.
Because he conquered the grave,
So shall we.

He is the reason that I sing,
I go to the empty tomb this morning, rejoicing
For his life - and mine.
His death and resurrection has saved me.






Just Another Aubade

(This one goes with the traditional lovers parting ways in the morning but with a (hopefully) surprising and funny twist!)

The morning has come and so I must leave you
I spend the whole hour quoting Juliette:
"Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good morning til it be morrow."
You bid me stay as I begin to rise
I collapse, neither of us wanting to compromise
Our repose is too sweet to end
But the morning brings duties and friends
I must go to class
You must stay here
And during the day, unfortunately, I will not be near
You warm me up and softly suggest
That I stay and get some more rest
I am tired and the offer is tempting
I close my eyes and snuggle in.
But a thought rattles in my brain
That I have work to do
And simply cannot stay
I sit up
You coax me to lay back down
I lean back apologizing, because I know
That alas, I finally must go
Away from you:
      my sweet,
           my beloved,
                      my bed!



I couldn't help myself, the creative juices were really flowing today!

Best Wishes,

Sharon

NaPoWriMo - Day 6: Aubade

Today's challenge is to write an aubade: a morning poem, traditionally about lovers parting ways...but I'm not a morning person.


The sun dances through the blinds
Even though they were closed tightly to keep him out
He tickles my eyelids and they heavily blink open
I look at the time and see there is still time for me to sleep
I roll over, but the sun, he is persistent and he does like to intrude
I close my eyes more tightly, willing myself back to sleep
I pull my blanket around me, but the sun keeps on knocking - how rude!
I begin to fall asleep in spite of the sun's best attempts
But a new tactic he begins
The birds begin to sing - a beautiful thing,
Were I not trying to sleep.
I will them to be quiet, so that I may get a few more minutes in
But it is to no avail
The chorus becomes louder and is joined by more.
I pull my blanket around me, but the birds keep on singing - how rude!
It seems a frantic sort of lullaby and I
                                                             begin to seek
                                                                                   the soft embrace
                                                                                                              of slumber...
When                      noise                              the    
              a  jarring                 comes through          room

It is not harmonious like the bird's sweet singing
Alas, my own devices have turned against me
It   is   my     alarm
"TIME TO GET UP" it yells, unharmoniously
I roll over and shut it off.

I stare at the ceiling and wish it were night again
The time when all is dark
And all is peace
And I can stay up all night or get some sleep...

But alas it is morning and that means
Work
And school.

I emerge from the warmth of my bed
Try to shake the sleep from my head
But I only yawn instead!
Not being a coffee drinker
I decide to forgo the tinker - ings
Of morning beverages.
And instead get dressed and hurry off to work
Because I am already
Running late.  




I had fun with this one, there is rarely a morning when I like to get up, I am a night owl ruled by morning people! Maybe that would be a good title for this poem.... This is pretty much how my morning wake up ordeal goes every morning. I am still yawning even though I've been up for awhile now. I've been wanting to write an Easter poem, and I think a more happy aubade would be a good way to go about it.... Maybe I'll write another poem today? We'll see...

Still yawning and refusing to drink coffee,

Sharon

NaPoWriMo - Day 5 - An Emily Dickinson Exercise

Happy Easter, everyone!

I want to start by saying how excited and full my heart feels at being today's featured blog over at NaPoWriMo.net! Today my blog had the most views it has ever had! Plus I got my first comments ever! Thank you all so much!

Today's prompt is to modify an Emily Dickinson poem that you've never read before. I've chosen "Fame is the one that does not stay."

Fame is the one that does not stay.
It's occupant must die or else ascend incessantly
into the famous sky.
Or they must be down to earth and know
That lightning doesn't strike twice.
Or else the very fame that made them huge
May make them go down in flames.



This poem has been quite transformed from the original, I think, but I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Thanks again and thanks for reading!

Happy Easter!

Sharon