Day 20
Prompt - Things I know
I know you work two jobs
And school really stresses you out
Your family depends on you more than they should.
But I also know
That people in love are supposed to want to spend time together
Even if they are tired
Or too busy
Or barely keeping their head above water.
I know you think you love me
I know you once loved me
But I also know that you don't seem to love me anymore
I know you won't admit it to yourself
Because I know you still feel guilty about what you did to me
I know that you are trying to do right by me
But I think we are at the point where doing right by each other
Means letting go
But I also know you won't do that
I know its exhausting
This back and forth we have
But I know we haven't been okay in a long time
I know we are okay as friends
But I know you think you want more
But the second you try to put love into this equation,
It combusts.
I know we aren't doing this right,
But I know that I don't think we can.
I know we've put a lot of time into this
But I think we've been past the end for awhile now.
I know all of the reasons it won't work
I know you don't want to hear them.
But I'm starting to think its time:
I know we want different things
I know you want to spend the rest of your life here
But I know I want to spend my life by the sea
I want adventure
But you want to settle
I want to go to church
But you just plain don't
I want to go out
But you always want to stay in
I know that you believe that blood is thicker than water
(Even though you once told me that wasn't true)
But I know it by the way you act
I know your family will always come first -
Before me, even if I was family
Staying here means giving up my dreams
And I so want to chase them
I know that I can't stay here for the rest of my life and be happy
My soul and my tears and my sweat are seawater
My heart is there - on the beach,
which reminds me
I know I love the beach
I know it is your least favorite place.
I know my emotions are tumultuous
Like a sea: calm one moment and stormy the next,
But I know that isn't something wrong with me
I feel more than most people
I let my emotions get the best of me
I know that is too much for you to handle
I know that it is too difficult for you to understand
Sometimes it is for me too
But its me.
The person that you say you love.
I know that this must stab your heart like a knife
The truth often does
But I think it is time we wake up from this dream that refuses to work
Shake hands and follow our hearts
And then we can both be happy
Separate, but happy.
Day 19
Prompt: Landay
Don't bother coming over if you are just gonna work on homework and be on your phone
And don't try to make me feel bad about it the next day when you are misreading my tone.
Day 16
Prompt: Terzanelle
A You snubbed me so I painted my toes
B And so now we are playing the waiting game again
A You acted like it was no big deal so I changed my clothes
b You say you love me but you can't be bothered to be a good friend
C We've done this more than once before
B And so now we are playing the waiting game again
c You find it easy, my feelings to ignore
D When I start to leave, you say all the right things
C We've done this more than once before
d As you start talking, a warning bell rings
E You only try when I decide to leave
D That's when you say all the right things
e I only needed you to come help me grieve
F I really think it's time for me to bid adieu
E But you only try when I decide to leave
f You can't be bothered to ask a simple, "How are you?"
A You snubbed me so I painted my toes
F I really think it's time for me to bid adieu
A You acted like it was no big deal so I changed my clothes.
And with one fell swoop I am back on the bandwagon! I don't feel any better even though I've processed my raw, unhappy emotions though.... For the Terzanelle, I had trouble because once I got into one rhyming scheme my brain wanted to stick with it and I was like, "No, I only have 2 lines of -oes/ -ore / -ings." I made it through three poems! Huzzah! I'm just glad I got caught up! They are a little rough....Oh well, time to study for a test....
-Sharon
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