Introvert (this one, I probably should have defined in one of my first posts) -
According to dictionary.com, an introvert is "1. a shy person." or in psychology "a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings (opposed to extrovert)."
That is almost how I would describe myself. My definition of introvert is slightly different. To me, an introvert is a quiet person who spends a lot of time within themselves. They may or may not like people, but they tend to shy away from contact with new people. In fact, contact with new people tends to make them uncomfortable. But, when around people they know well, they come out of their shells and may be quite animated. Generally, introverts do better with one-on-one or small group interactions. They may seem socially awkward at times. But, even introverts need support systems and communities. Sometimes, they may long for interaction with other people.
Christian Community -
You may come across a multitude of different definitions of this phrase if you google it. To me Christian community is a group of people whom you "do life with." These are people you meet with regularly, people you study the word with, pray with and for, ask to pray for you, share your struggles, and burdens with. Christian community is about sharing your life with others. It is having a support group who help you through struggles, root for you, build you up, and you do the same for them. You learn from each other and worship together.
Now it is only within the last few years that I have learned about Christian community. I grew up in the Church, but I didn't understand how you could be vulnerable with other people and be safe. I didn't understand the value of Christian community until the last two years. I started to want it when I was in college, but I ignored the desire my freshman and sophomore years. All at the same time, I started to see the value in Christian community. My parents started going to a very small church that was very welcoming and my junior year of college I joined Phi Lamb and Chi Alpha at Texas State. I don't know why, but things that had never clicked before started clicking with me within these groups. I had had church friends and I had talked about God with my friends and my parents, but something was changing within me.
Now, I miss that very much.
I miss having a Christian community to go to every week. I miss having people pray for me, I miss having people to worship with. I miss learning about the personal lives of the people in my Christian community. I miss seeing God work within my Christian communities.
I am still somewhat connected with those communities and I can (and do) go to them for support and prayer when I need it. I know that my Big is only a text away and that my sisters and friends are willing to pray if I only go and ask on the facebook page.
But I don't have a community to go be a part of each week.
Seeking a community is a struggle for me. I've been going to church on Sundays, but I haven't been interacting with a Christian community here in this new town, on this new campus. Seeking out a community is scary for me. I hate entering situations where I know no one. And thus far into the semester, it has prevented me from seeking out a community on campus. I have made a few friends, but I can feel that familiar desire, that desire to be actively connected with a body of believers where I am.
I am going to have to seek it out, even if it scares me. I'll probably text some of my new friends to see if they are connected with a group here so that I can tag along with them. And if they aren't, I can invite them to seek out a group with me. Having one person I know will make it that much less scary.
Usually graduate students don't get involved with organizations on their campus. They don't get into the spirit of the school. I'm not sure why, but that seems to be the case. But, I feel a pull; I need to be a part of a Christian community here.
I worry that my options are limited. TAMUG is first and foremost a science and engineering school. And, generally, scientists and engineers aren't known for being Christians, though some are. I know there is a YoungLife group on campus, so I may check that out. If it doesn't seem like the right fit for me, I know some local churches have college groups, and if I feel so led, I could even start a new group on campus.
That's where I am right now. I am an introverted graduate student, cautiously and nervously seeking Christian community. Hopefully, I find the place I need to be.
Love,
Sharon
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