Beauty and the Beast

In a few days, I will begin the month-long deluge of poetry. In the meantime, I give you a review/critique/rambling thoughts on Beauty and the Beast.

First of all I give it 4.786250914/5 stars, saw it twice, would see again, and the Sharon Seal of Approval.

Disney promised us a live action remake of the much beloved 1991 animated classic Disney's Beauty and the Beast and boy did they deliver.

But if you wanted it to be a shot-for-shot, line-for-line, exactly, 100% the same movie, then you may be in for a surprise.

Consider this your SPOILER WARNING. I'll give those of you who have yet to see the film a moment to navigate away from this page.


Still there?

Bueller?

Alright, let's go.

All the major plot points were there, but the original movie's runtime was 84 minutes (less than an hour and a half), while modern movies tend to be closer to 2 hours; they had to add something to the film.

And add they did. They added backstory to the characters, they made the enchantress a bigger part of the story, they gave the Beast his own bittersweet song. And they added a touch of a different version of Beauty and the Beast.

They made the story more meaningful and nuanced. They made the Beast more worthy of Belle's love and they made Gaston more of a villain and they even gave Le Fou a conscience. I found myself feeling that Le Fou was not a fool in this telling at all. They changed the bookkeeper to be an academic priest who seems to appreciate and encourage Belle's intelligence while the rest of the town condemns it. They even connected the fates of the servants in the castle with the village people. They changed Maurice to be a heartbroken, overprotective, artist father.

The movie is a beautiful rendition of the animated classic, which I'm sure will become a classic in its own right.

It has the favorite standby songs, with some minor changes. For example, I really missed the sheep in "Belle" and Gaston's famous line "every last inch of me's covered with hair" in "Gaston." But they added a sweet song sung first by Maurice, "How Does a Moment Last Forever" which seems to be a song from the creators of the new movie, nodding to the anxiety of re-creating a well-loved movie, while also hinting at something more in the story. They also added a song for the servants in the castle where they pine after their former lives "Days in the Sun" where Belle begins to fall in love and hurt for the servants and wants to help them before she sees any humanity in the Beast. "Evermore" is the Beast's new solo, where he climbs up high in the tower as he watches Belle leave to rescue her father - sure she will never return, he sings "I'll fool myself, she'll walk right in And be with me for evermore." Even though I knew that Belle returns, I couldn't help but tear up.

That wasn't the first time I teared up either, when Belle and Beast are building a relationship, Beast shares a book the enchantress left him which allows him to travel anywhere in the world. Belle uses it to take them to the windmill in Paris where her family lived until her mother caught the plague and died - they had to leave here there to protect themselves. From then on, Maurice did his best to protect Belle.

So what did I not like about the movie?
I already mentioned that I missed the sheep and "every last inch of me's covered with hair" but there were a couple other minor things that bothered me about the movie. First, Belle wore shoes that looked unmistakably like Toms; surely they could have found her some more appropriate footwear? Second, I love Emma Watson, but something about her as Belle, just did not feel quite right to me. Finally, I had trouble determining when on earth this movie was supposed to take place. I think this movie should have occurred much after the plague, but I'm not sure.

By and large, I loved the movie. The animated film reigns supreme, but this film holds an honorable second place in my heart.

What were your thoughts on the film?

Happy End of March!
Sharon

April Optimism

For the past two or three years, I've been participating in NaPoWriMo and with April 1st peeking around the corner, I am excited to say that I will again be making an attempt at 30 poems in 30 days. I will be busy, as I often am in April. But I encourage you to write along with me and keep me accountable. If you've never heard of NaPoWriMo, I encourage you to check out this website, where I will be getting my prompts.


Also, because I am so excited about NaPoWriMo, I've decided to write a poem today! This won't count for my 30 poems in April because it isn't April (yet). Because I currently cannot come up with subject matter for a poem, I have used Robert Peake's prompt generator which you can find here.


My prompt was to incorporate as many of the following words as possible:

incense, distracted, signature, surprised, children's, argues, sticking, amused, pallid, poet's, bolts, repeating, simplest, il, shack.

I also had to:
include an unusual taste and refer to a famous poet.

It also includes an image for inspiration (which I did not use).

Here is my poem:

The smell of my chai tea, like incense, flooded my nose.
Distractedly, I signed the receipt.
I was surprised when the barista commented that I had a pretty signature;
Perhaps not many children took to their cursive lessons as I had.
My feet argued with the ground as I stepped,
A piece of gum sticking to my shoe, refusing to allow me to move.
The patrons of the coffee shop seemed amused
As I fought to remove the fum from the sole of my shoe.
I imagined the poet's pallid face among the crowd,
The cadence and repetition of The Raven came to mind,
My steps taking its rhythm for their own
As they carried me back to my cove.
Sometimes even the simplest things are difficult for me.



Poe has been on my mind quite a bit and I am going to do some research and use some of Poe's works for the inspiration for a project I have in mind.

See you soon for more poetry!

Sharon  

Rambling Thoughts on La La Land

*This is your one spoiler warning*

My friends and I just saw the movie La La Land. Literally, I just drove home from the theater and am putting my jumbled thoughts out into the world.

If you appreciate music, you will like this movie.
If you appreciate waltz and dancing and fun choreography (by none other than Mandy Moore - what?!), you will like this movie.
If you enjoy singing, you will like this movie.
If you enjoy the beginning part of a relationship, you will like this movie.
If you like happy endings, you may or may not like this movie.
If what I just said gives you pause, go see this movie anyway.
If you like piano, Emma Stone's big, beautiful eyes, and Ryan Gosling's je ne sais quoi, you will like this movie.

At the end of the movie, my friends and I watched the credits and listened to the beautiful music in silent awe. Our emotions had just been taken for a wild ride and we were taking a minute to process. It left me feeling a little raw and exposed. It resonated with me. It left us shocked.

La La Land did so well because I think it treats "La-la land" with a firm grip of reality. Having never been an aspiring actress or musician in Hollywood, I cannot say for sure, but I suspect it was accurate.

It showed the fears and pains and struggles of making it in Hollywood which, really, are the same as the struggles every one of us faces. And it treated them in an authentic way.

You followed the story of Mia and Sebastian as their lives intertwined, you fell in love with them, you sang with them, you danced with them. You routed for them and you invested in them. This was a couple that could make it work.

As someone once told me, "the beginning of any relationship is always fun." And we saw that, we were swept along with it. And then when they fought, we were a little shaken, but I think we thought Mia and Seb would make it through this.

But this movie also examines a difficult question: Is it possible to have both love and your dreams? The answer, a resounding no.

Mia puts on a one woman show which is underattended and Seb, Seb fails to make it on time. By the time he gets there, the show is over, Mia is leaving, stricken that no one came, that those who did had negative comments, and possibly most troubling to her that Seb wasn't there.

She leaves town, Seb is given the opportunity to win her back with a romantic gesture that involves an audition that might be Mia's big break. He takes her to the audition and afterward, Mia asks Seb, "where are we?" I think all relationships face this question at some point or another and the answer can make or break the relationship. Seb tells her that they will just have to wait and see; they tell each other that they will always love each other, and evidently, Mia does get the gig.

Ultimately, we find out that they both have achieved their respective dreams. And I think it was Mia almost walking out on her dream that shook Seb up and made him go grab his with both hands. Seeing someone you love give up or almost give up on their dream does that to you.

It is a moving movie because it treats life with honesty. We are swept away in the euphoria of a budding romance. We route for the characters, their relationship, and their dreams. But then it strips that away, it asks what we will do when things are not working out how we wanted them to. It shakes us awake and asks us what we will give up for our dream.

What will the cost of achieving our dream be? Will it be the love of our life? Or will being with the love of our live cause us to give up our dream?

Life doesn't have to be that stark, but it often is. And maybe, they weren't the love of each other's lives. It was obvious that Mia's dream was not to be married, but to be an actress and she got that. Seb wanted a club and he got that.

But I think the painful thing is that Seb may not have moved on even though Mia has. He names the club what Mia suggested and when he sees her there in the heartbreaking final scene of the movie, he plays their song.

He told her he would always love her and he meant it.

But maybe he loves her because she encouraged him to go after his dream. He saw her walking out on hers and forced her not to so then he had to do the same.

As we were leaving the theater, one of my friends said, "I can't even be happy about their success because they didn't end up together. She's not with the love of her life."

Mia's life was about acting; Seb's was about opening an amazing jazz club. They both inspired each other to go out and get their dreams. Isn't that all anyone can ask for?

This movie is about priorities, perception, dreams, fears, struggles. And it does have a happy ending, if not the one we so often expect. But neither does life.

In a way, this movie reminds me of Pygmalion. When he originally wrote the play, George Bernard Shaw discovered that people thought Eliza should end up with Prof. Higgins; this bothered him so much that he wrote an epilogue in which Eliza is married to Freddy. Henry Higgins was never the right man for Eliza to marry. He helped her to rise above her position and then they moved on from one another. Mia and Seb both helped each other rise from their position and achieve their dream. Maybe they were not the right person for the other to marry. But they were the person the other needed at that time in their life.

I know I'm rambling, but I'm trying to make sense of the way this movie shook up my insides. If nothing more, we should remember that happy endings don't always look the same. Emma Stone is my spirit animal, I want her wardrobe from this movie, and I want the soundtrack to the movie as well; Ryan Gosling is, as ever, a stud.


Go see the movie and let me know what you thought.

May the music stay with you,
Sharon

Castle Series Finale

I finally watched the series finale of Castle and . . .

That was some lazy writing.

When I was a senior (or maybe a junior - whenever I took creative writing) in high school, I turned in a piece of fiction in which I used a page break to signify a gap in time. My creative writing teacher told me that was lazy. At the time, I was frustrated and annoyed because it meant I had to figure out a way for my characters to get from Point A to Point B.

If you haven't watched the Castle series finale and plan to, don't read on. This is your spoiler warning.

At the end of the episode, Castle and Beckett go home thinking that they solved the case and caught Lockset and Castle is gonna make Beckett breakfast. Beckett goes into the other room to change. Some Baddie (who I should probably know who is, but don't) appears in the kitchen and shoots Castle, in the shoulder or stomach or something, presumably an ultimately fatal shot. Beckett enters the room, alerted that something is wrong by Castle's silence. Beckett and Baddie have a gun fight. Baddie is killed by one or more of Beckett's numerous shots. Beckett reveals that she was shot in the stomach (and probably elsewhere, Baddie got quite a few rounds off) and sinks to the floor. Unable to move much, Castle and Beckett crawl closer to one another and grab hands. They are laying on the floor bleeding out, presumably to die.

I am watching, alarm bells going off in my brain. They can't die! I'm thinking. Maybe Martha or Alexis will walk in and find them and call for an ambulance - something!

Instead, they overlay Castle and Beckett's voices, probably from the first episode (it's been awhile; I can't remember every conversation Beckett and Castle had), meanwhile we are panning sideways through a wall, an empty room.

Castle continues talking as the words "Seven Years Later" appear on the screen. Some pretty girls run into the room; Castle and Beckett are sitting at the table. It's sunny and light and happy.

They survived and got their happily ever after. I should be happy, right?

Wrong.

Dead wrong.

I don't object to the device of moving forward into the future to let us see into Castle and Beckett's future. We have bought into their lives, their romance, we rooted for Caskett against all odds, we deserve to see that they are still doing well.

My objection is that they left them bleeding out and dying on their kitchen floor. You can't write a cop out like that. I get that you were trying to write a series finale at the last minute after finding out the series wasn't going to be picked up for another season.

But here's the thing: the fans, the characters, the actors deserve better.

I can't fully buy into your happy little tacked on fairy tale ending because the last thing I saw was Castle and Beckett laying on the floor waiting for death.

You didn't do your job. You didn't finish the story. You didn't tell me how Caskett got out of this situation. You didn't have Martha and Alexis come to the apartment, find Castle and Beckett on the floor dying, grab their hands, have Alexis tearfully tell Castle, "Dad its going to be okay" as she calls 911 for an ambulance. Put some sirens in the background. Then pan across the room as Castle talks then show me seven years in the future. Only then would I be able to buy into your poorly executed ending.

Because you did not do that, I am instead left with the feeling that this is Castle imagining what could have been as he holds the love of his life's hand and succumbs to death. Not the fairy tale ending you were trying to write is it?

But that's what I'm left with. So thanks for that, lazy writers. Thanks a lot.

Don't be lazy.

Sharon

Closet Christianity

Recently, there was a post on BuzzFeed where the author (an educated, straight, female) said that she felt that admitting that she was a Christian was like coming out of the closet, but she felt as though being a homosexual is more widely accepted than being a Christian.

In the comments that followed the post, people said all sorts of mean things. Someone called her homophobic, lots of people said she was entitled, not a minority, and had no idea what she was talking about.

Now, I don't know what it's like to be gay and to be afraid to let the people around you and the world in general know that you are gay. BUT I do know what it is like to be a Christian in the field of science.

There are scientists who are Christian. The two are NOT mutually exclusive. But throughout my education, I have been extremely aware of people who think that Christians are idiots.

I have been afraid of admitting to peers and professors that I am Christian because I am afraid that they will think that I am stupid (my intelligence is very important to me), I am afraid that I will be rejected, I am afraid that it will hurt relationships.

I don't actively try to hide the fact that I am a Christian, but I don't try to reveal it either.

I recently began my Master's of Science in Marine Biology at Texas A&M at Galveston. It is a science and engineering focused school. There are few religious organizations on campus. I don't know if I am actually in the minority on campus, but it feels like I am.

It stings when you are at work and you hear someone say, "Don't you just hate it when someone posts something religious on facebook? Doesn't that make you uncomfortable?" As though you aren't allowed to post your opinions or religious affiliation on social media. Or that it is socially forbidden. That it is taboo.

The United States of America was founded on religious freedom. It is in the 1st Amendment of the Bill of Rights. That shows just how important it is. But we have moved away from freedom of religion to freedom from religion.

Religious people are often looked down on. Christians are often looked down on.

I don't what to be thought less of for being a Christian anymore than a gay person wants to be thought less of for being gay. We are all people, regardless of our religious affiliation, sexual orientation, race, nationality, gender, sex, hair color... and we deserve to be treated as such.

Know one should have to hide who they are for fear of being mocked, rejected, ostracized, belittled, or hurt.

You don't have to like me, but would you mind at least trying to get to know me before you make that decision?

That's my two cents.

-Sharon

Engagement Season

Recently I heard a Kay Jewelers commercial that said it was "engagement season." I scoffed and said to my mother that I thought there was no particular engagement season; people just got engaged whenever the guy (or whoever is doing the proposing) feels its the correct time. She agreed with me.

But in the past month, two of my friends have gotten engaged, one friend got married, and my sister got married.

In June, one of my best friends got married.

Several girls in my sorority got engaged and married in the spring and over the summer.

So I don't really know if its "engagement season" or not, but I do know that I am at that age where it seems like everyone around me is getting engaged and married.

I'm happy for all of them, I am.

But it's hard.

It's hard not to see what they have and want it too. It's hard not to be a *little* bit jealous. It's hard not to feel a little inferior.

Now, dear reader, if you know exactly what I'm talking about, let me tell you, you are not inferior because you aren't getting engaged or married. There is nothing wrong with you because you aren't engaged. Wherever you are in your life, whatever you are doing right now, is exactly right for you.

I have a boyfriend who I would like to marry. I would really like him to get down on one knee with a ring and propose. But he hasn't. And that's okay. There is nothing wrong with me or with him or with us, just because we aren't engaged and planning a wedding.

I know that I tend to rush toward the next thing and not enjoy where I am. So maybe, I should just enjoy this time of being able to be my own person. Of only being responsible to myself, only having to cook for myself, clean up after myself, being able to watch whatever I want on tv, being able to write a blog post at midnight, and listen to whatever music I want however loud I want whenever I want.

That probably sounds a little selfish.

But I think before a person can be in a healthy relationship (or marriage), they must be confident of their self identity outside of a relationship. That is necessary for any person to be mentally healthy and fulfilled. And then they will be even better in a relationship.

I know its hard though. With all of these constant reminders: facebook posts, tweets, IG posts, pinterest pins, blogs, commercials, tv shows. American culture seems to put a HUGE emphasis on getting engaged and getting married.

But what we rarely say is that it is okay to be single or just dating someone. Your relationship is valid even if you don't have a big hunk of carbon on your finger. YOU are valid even if you aren't in a relationship.

I think timing is a huge thing. According to the Bible, "For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven..." (Ecclesiastes 3:1). So there is a time be single, dating, proposed to, engaged, married.

And if you aren't at the time as everyone around you, so what? Your clock is just a little different from theirs. Maybe their clock runs fast, maybe yours runs a little slow. Maybe they are in a different time zone than you. It really doesn't matter.

All that matters is you are where you are and it is the perfect place for right now. Don't rush it. Just enjoy it.

For what its worth, my boyfriend knows that I *really* wanna be engaged and sometimes he feels as though if a stranger were to propose to me, I would jump up and down and get excited and say yes. He sometimes feels that I just want the ring and the wedding and that I don't care who the other person is. He says I'm "ring hungry" (this phrase sounds like it would be on Urban Dictionary, but last I checked it wasn't. Weird, right?). I absolutely do care. But the fact that he ever thinks that tells me there is something not quite right with our relationship. It shows me that I need to be better at communicating just how important he is to me.

And when the time is right, it will be our turn to be engaged.

Don't be ring hungry,

Sharon

Thoughts on Death

Today, a cat my family had for most of my life (around 15-17 years) died.

A few weeks ago, a friend's fiancee was killed in an accident involving a drunk driver.

Numerous police officers have been killed.

Since April, two of my very own pets (ducks) were killed by a raccoon. A bird my sister rescued died during the summer.

Lots of people die every day.

So death has been on my mind a lot.

I don't deal with death well.

I don't like it.

I want to live in a world where people and animals don't have to die.

Death robs us of the people and animals we love the most. Those who we feel we cannot live without. Those who we never imagined living without. It breaks our heart and our soul. It rocks our world.

And yet, we look around and see that even though our world is crumbling around us, no one else seems to realize that our world has changed forever. They just go about their lives as though everything is exactly the same. But it isn't.

And perhaps, that is the most heartbreaking part of death, or any loss. No one else is affected. No one else seems to notice just how much the world has changed. We feel isolated. No one else seems to understand.

We have a hole in our hearts that will not heal with time. Our lives, our worlds are changed forever in ways that others simply don't understand. We continue to live. Even with this ache in our hearts that may dull with time, but will never completely heal. We will carry their memory with us, we will continue to love them. We will miss them terribly until we one day are reunited.

Some of you may think that I am overreacting to the death of a pet. But really this is something that has been building up inside me over time.

But I am also heartbroken over the death of this cat. I could try to explain how special she was but you just couldn't understand that she truly was (and is) as dear to me as a best friend is to you.

And if you are grieving over a loss, whether recent or in the past, know that you are not alone. While the world may not feel the particular ache that you feel, and may not miss whoever you miss, we all have a hole in our hearts and a longing for someone who we can only guess when we will see them again.

We love you, Oreo.
We love all those who have left us.

Peace,

Sharon

NaPoWriMo: Day 20, 19, 16

Today is a threebie because I missed yesterday and Friday and if I don't catch up now I'm never going to.


Day 20
Prompt - Things I know

I know you work two jobs
And school really stresses you out
Your family depends on you more than they should.
But I also know
That people in love are supposed to want to spend time together
Even if they are tired
Or too busy
Or barely keeping their head above water.

I know you think you love me
I know you once loved me
But I also know that you don't seem to love me anymore
I know you won't admit it to yourself
Because I know you still feel guilty about what you did to me
I know that you are trying to do right by me
But I think we are at the point where doing right by each other
Means letting go

But I also know you won't do that
I know its exhausting
This back and forth we have
But I know we haven't been okay in a long time
I know we are okay as friends
But I know you think you want more
But the second you try to put love into this equation,
It combusts.

I know we aren't doing this right,
But I know that I don't think we can.
I know we've put a lot of time into this
But I think we've been past the end for awhile now.

I know all of the reasons it won't work
I know you don't want to hear them.
But I'm starting to think its time:

I know we want different things
I know you want to spend the rest of your life here
But I know I want to spend my life by the sea
I want adventure
But you want to settle
I want to go to church
But you just plain don't
I want to go out
But you always want to stay in
I know that you believe that blood is thicker than water
(Even though you once told me that wasn't true)
But I know it by the way you act
I know your family will always come first -
Before me, even if I was family
Staying here means giving up my dreams
And I so want to chase them
I know that I can't stay here for the rest of my life and be happy
My soul and my tears and my sweat are seawater
My heart is there - on the beach,
which reminds me
I know I love the beach
I know it is your least favorite place.
I know my emotions are tumultuous
Like a sea: calm one moment and stormy the next,
But I know that isn't something wrong with me
I feel more than most people
I let my emotions get the best of me
I know that is too much for you to handle
I know that it is too difficult for you to understand
Sometimes it is for me too
But its me.
The person that you say you love.

I know that this must stab your heart like a knife
The truth often does
But I think it is time we wake up from this dream that refuses to work
Shake hands and follow our hearts
And then we can both be happy
Separate, but happy.


Day 19
Prompt: Landay

Don't bother coming over if you are just gonna work on homework and be on your phone
And don't try to make me feel bad about it the next day when you are misreading my tone.

Day 16
Prompt: Terzanelle

A You snubbed me so I painted my toes
B And so now we are playing the waiting game again
A You acted like it was no big deal so I changed my clothes


b You say you love me but you can't be bothered to be a good friend
C We've done this more than once before
B And so now we are playing the waiting game again

c You find it easy, my feelings to ignore
D When I start to leave, you say all the right things
C We've done this more than once before


d As you start talking, a warning bell rings
E You only try when I decide to leave
D That's when you say all the right things


e I only needed you to come help me grieve
F I really think it's time for me to bid adieu
E But you only try when I decide to leave


f You can't be bothered to ask a simple, "How are you?"
A You snubbed me so I painted my toes
F I really think it's time for me to bid adieu
A You acted like it was no big deal so I changed my clothes.


And with one fell swoop I am back on the bandwagon! I don't feel any better even though I've processed my raw, unhappy emotions though.... For the Terzanelle, I had trouble because once I got into one rhyming scheme my brain wanted to stick with it and I was like, "No, I only have 2 lines of -oes/ -ore / -ings." I made it through three poems! Huzzah! I'm just glad I got caught up! They are a little rough....Oh well, time to study for a test....

-Sharon

NaPoWriMo - Day 15

Well we're back and it is Day 15 of NaPoWriMo. That means we are halfway through. Is it a glass half full or a glass half empty? It is both: Half full of poems written (adding more each day) and half empty of prompts. I generally enjoy the prompts very much so I'll be sad to see them go. And I'll be sadder to not have a reason that I must take a minute and write a poem each day. It has helped keep me sane this April.

The prompt is to write a poem that talks to itself, I suppose (Interpret the full prompt for yourself, here). Hmm here goes:

O, freeform verse,
why do I always write you?
Am I that enamored with you?
No, I think it is laziness
On my part.
So many poems require counting syllables
Which should be easy
But some words trip me up.
Even more require paying attention to feet.
Stressed and unstressed syllables make me crazy
I can't hear which ones I stress when I speak -
Am I monotone?
Yes, I am a person much more suited to prose.

Haiku is not bad
I like it very much but
It does seem too short.

A long time ago I wrote a limerick
But not once have I returned to that shtik
Though I liked it very much,
The funny bone I didn't touch
I simply couldn't do the trick.

(Not to mention that the first three lines are supposed to be long).
So again to you freeform verse, I return
Your lines are easy for me to learn
My heart speaks in prose
Not measured speech
With unruly metric feet.

Other forms are a challenge,
but with you I make up the rules as I go
(Do I really even have any?
The answer is probably - no.)
Sometimes I rhyme, sometimes I don't.
It isn't that I can't or won't
At some point freeform became my style
Which is odd, because if you knew me in real life
You'd know that it's by rules I abide.



Maureen was right; this prompt was good for looking at my writing process and specifically why I seem to dwell almost exclusively in freeform verse. Maybe I need to try writing in different forms? Maybe that should be a challenge I add for myself for the rest of NaPoWriMo? Do you have a form that you tend to dwell in? Why?
Want to suggest a form for me to try? Let me know!

Write away,

Sharon

NaPoWriMo Day 14: Dialogue - Conversation Hearts

Last semester, I was feeling very burned out, so I took a spiral and found a quiet spot next to a bald cypress and a pond on campus. There were some ducks on the pond and that day I wrote a poem that was a conversation between myself and the duck, which would be perfect for today's prompt, unfortunately. I'm not entirely sure where that spiral is so I'm going to write a new dialogue poem today (but not between myself and a duck).

Conversation Hearts

Half of my heart
Says it wants to fall in love with someone new.

But the other half

Says it wants to fall in love with you

Why?

The feelings are stale

The butterflies,

The fireworks,

Aren't there.

Don't you want the excitement

Of someone new?

To fall in love again

To learn someone's 

Past

Present

Dreams

Again.

He is changing I see

And I think he is the right one for me

He is comfortable

Strong

He will keep me safe

New is uncertain

And opens me up to be broken

Why would you want to break again?

To have to put everything back together again?

Someone new could break you

It is true

But he could break you too.

You've got to take risks

If you want to find love

Whether someone new or old

You might get broken

The story is untold

But the facts are these:

He broke you before,

He can do it again.

Why give him a chance again?

You say those feelings of love

Are gone

And that is true

But that is because this is old love

Not new

The point of love is not to feel the

Butterflies and the fireworks

Its years in the future

When you are old

And your husband is there by your side

As you look back on your life

You may not feel the excitement

But that doesn't mean the love is faded

You are just jaded.

Jaded? Jaded?

I am not jaded!

It is you who was jaded these past years

Angry and so full of fears.

I am ready to move forward

And take a chance

But you only want to look back

I am looking back

Accepting the good with the bad

Do you not remember,

there was more good than bad?

I am simply unwilling to give up 

On what we had.

But I want to move forward

I am looking to the future

With an eye to the past.

We had a love that might last.

I want to try again

With him

With someone new

A heart divided cannot make up its mind.

Take a chance on love, old or new,

Sharon

NaPoWriMo Day 11 - Sapphic

Today's prompt is to write a poem in the form of a Sapphic. This is a poem of quatrains. Three of which have eleven syllables and the last has five. If that weren't difficult enough, it has a very specific meter associated with it....This one is going to take me awhile. Meter is always something I struggle with. I have a lot of trouble understanding stressed and unstressed syllables...The meter is a little bit forced in this poem so I have capitalized the syllables that are supposed to be stressed and inserted hyphens between syllables in one word. After working on it for awhile, here it is:

Sorr-y If this Comes as a Sur-prise To you
But i Just don't Feel how i Used to A-bout
You. i Still do Care a-bout You but I don't
            Feel the way I did

I want You to Un-der-stand I did Not mean
To stop Lov-ing You. i'm not Ev-en Sure when
My feel-Ings changed. I do still Care a-bout you.
             I was con-Fused too

I felt As though I were a-Wake-en-Ing from
A deep Sleep, re-Luc-tant-ly. Just the Way you
Try to Re-mem-Ber dreams, i Lost the Feel-ing
            Of be-ing In love

It was Not what I wanted At all But the
More i Tried to Find that place In my Heart the
Fur-ther It was, Just as i For-get My dreams
            As i a-Wake-en

Dear, do Not break Your own heart, I still Long to
Love you. Come here, Take my hand. I be-Lieve you
Still hold The key If you want To help Me fall
            For you once A-gain.

An odd feeling, but one I am feeling,

Sharon

NaPoWriMo Day 9

Sorry this is so late. Today has been a very busy day for me. I've had a lot on my mind. I'm not really feeling the prompt today. I couldn't come up with a concept I liked so I'm just going to write a random poem instead, inspired by my current mood at this very moment. Today has been an emotional roller coaster for me and right now, I am, unfortunately, in a low mood (but about 15 minutes ago, I was great...)



I see the things you think I don't
When you say one thing
But it's only a half truth
I know the things you think I don't
You think you are sly and cunning,
like a fox,
but you're not.
You're like a skunk,
Cute,
but,
I can
    see
and
    smell
and
     feel
everywhere you've been.
Your path so obvious to me
But you still think that I don't see.
I am shaking, mad, and sick
Why do you think you're so slick?
You complain about not having time
But then you go and waste it.
I won't save you anymore
That is what responsibility is for.
I'm not stupid
You aren't either
And maybe if you take responsibility
Instead of pawning it off on me,
maybe,
then, and only, then
there can be something more
but otherwise
I won't lie,
I've already got one foot out the door.

Not in a good mood, but I hope you are,

Sharon

NaPoWriMo - Day 8: Palinode

Today's prompt is to write a palinode which is, apparently, a poem that retracts a statement in a previous poem. If we don't have a statement in a poem we'd like to retract, Maureen (Ms. Thorson) suggests that we write about why we changed our mind about something instead. I think that is what I'm going to do.


There is much debate about why
I decided the summer after high school
To go here, instead of there.
My sister insists that it is because of a boy
(who later broke my heart);
She is still bitter about it
(Notice I said she, not I)
And, I suppose that is part.
But I was also scared
To be so far away from home
And I didn't have a car to make the trek
Whenever I wanted to
I would have been stuck there,
All alone,
Until a holiday
When my parents would've come to get me.
There is also the fact that they told me
That they had nowhere for me to live
But I was required to live on campus -
NO getting around it.
Where would I sleep?
I wondered.
Where would all my things go?
But here,
Is just down the road from home
I could commute
(Just 30 minutes).
There is much debate about why
I decided to go to Texas State
Instead of Texas A&M - Galveston
Even though things have worked out well
I've been on the Dean's List a few times
I joined an honor society
A Christian sorority
A Christian fellowship
I've made friends
I've gotten jobs
I've grown closer to God
I've become slightly more independent
Sometimes I'm really happy here
(When I'm not I'm usually tired, hungry, stressed, burned out).
And now I feel more confident to spread my wings
And wander further from my parents.
So really things have worked out quite well.
But all of these benefits are wiped away
When my sister says
"You should have gone to A&M Galveston"
And she blames it all on that boy, maybe unjustly.
Maybe she should thank him,
But she refuses to see
That maybe
(Just maybe)
Going to Texas State
Was the best thing
For me.



Not really sure if this qualifies as the suggested variation of a palinode, but this is my attempt for today's prompt! What do you think? Please tell, I won't bite!

Sometimes what we think is best for someone else, isn't,

Sharon

NaPoWriMo Day 7! Poem about Money

I've made it a whole week! And I'm still going strong (I think). Today's prompt is to write a poem about money. As I am a poor, college student (contemplating taking out loans to afford grad school...) I think we all know where this is going...




I go to the store
But before I check-out
I pull out my phone once more
To check my bank account and do some mental math
To see if I can afford to purchase the items I have.
I don't have enough money in my bank account
But I have some cash in my wallet
I pull out a few thin, green pieces of paper
And wonder if I should save them for later.
They feel soft and worn between my finger and thumb
And I think its odd they hold so much value
Especially to someone like me.
     I really don't like money at all:
     It brings out the worst in people
     It turns them to vice.
     It makes them greedy, angry - not at all nice.
     With our greed, we turn the same color as money - green
     We are nasty and spiteful and act for our gain
     When we could consider others instead.
But at the same time I realize that it is necessary
     Because that is how the world works
     We assign values to these pieces of paper
     And we give them to others in exchange for goods and services
The cashier is staring at me now
A scowl forming on his face
I haven't handed him the money
I've just been staring at it in my hand
And I'm not sure if I should save the money or spend it
Money is for spending, I rationalize
It won't go with me when I leave this earth
So I may as well use the money for what I can.
Reluctantly I hand it over,
Take my things and walk out the store
And there in the parking lot
Is a mother and children
Who could use the money I just spent
Way more than me...

-Sharon

An Easter Aubade and Another Aubade

I am really enjoying writing a poem every day (so far). I am having a lot of fun and people actually like my stuff, so that's encouraging. Today's prompt really seemed like it had a lot of potential so I decided to write two more aubades! These aren't officially for NaPoWriMo, but I just can't help myself.




Easter Aubade

They got up early that Sunday morning
To do a most solemn thing
They went to the tomb
To find the body of their friend - and king.
It was a happy morning,
The sun gently caressing the earth,
The air cool and misty,
The birds singing.
And to them, it seemed so wrong that the world was happy
For their friend had died - been crucifed - and they had cried.
But when they got their, they were confused
His body was removed!
If this were a joke, they weren't amused.
But someone from the garden spoke
And those silly girls didn't recognize him
They thought he was the gardener
And asked where his body was
He answered with their names.

Just as he does today,
He calls each of us by name.
We have been washed in his blood
Made pure and new.
He suffered and died
So that we might be able to live at his side.
Because he conquered the grave,
So shall we.

He is the reason that I sing,
I go to the empty tomb this morning, rejoicing
For his life - and mine.
His death and resurrection has saved me.






Just Another Aubade

(This one goes with the traditional lovers parting ways in the morning but with a (hopefully) surprising and funny twist!)

The morning has come and so I must leave you
I spend the whole hour quoting Juliette:
"Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good morning til it be morrow."
You bid me stay as I begin to rise
I collapse, neither of us wanting to compromise
Our repose is too sweet to end
But the morning brings duties and friends
I must go to class
You must stay here
And during the day, unfortunately, I will not be near
You warm me up and softly suggest
That I stay and get some more rest
I am tired and the offer is tempting
I close my eyes and snuggle in.
But a thought rattles in my brain
That I have work to do
And simply cannot stay
I sit up
You coax me to lay back down
I lean back apologizing, because I know
That alas, I finally must go
Away from you:
      my sweet,
           my beloved,
                      my bed!



I couldn't help myself, the creative juices were really flowing today!

Best Wishes,

Sharon

NaPoWriMo - Day 3

AHHH!!! I almost forgot to write a poem today..it's been a busy day. This one will likely be short. The prompt was to write a fourteener. Check out napowrimo.net for the full info.


He bore the cross all the way to Calvary's bloody hill
And there they nailed him up and mocked his name
And though they laughed, he did not hate them
He held each of us within his heart
For us he cried, "Father forgive them!"
And for us he breathed his last and died.


I used the fact that today is Good Friday as inspiration for my poem. Writing a poem with 14-syllable lines is difficult - it would have been even more difficult if I had used seven iambic feet! But I just ignored the iambs. Admittedly, this poem feels a bit short, but I was in a rush to get this up before midnight!

Sleep well!

Sharon

NaPoWriMo: Day 1 - Poem of Negation

Today is the first official day of NaPoWriMo: hooray! Today the prompt from NaPoWriMo.net is an intriguing one: write a poem of negation - a poem that describes something by saying what it's not. I think I am going to describe a piece of much-awaited mail I received yesterday...



I go to my mailbox, unlock it, reach in
The mailbox isn't empty;
I pull out two pieces of mail,
This one isn't anything noteworthy; I don't keep it.
But this one isn't junk...
It isn't the large envelope I had hoped for.
So it doesn't look like good news.
The flap isn't folded properly,
As though something didn't fit quite right inside.
And the envelope isn't sealed in the typical way either.
The tape doesn't want to come up,
But I don't want to tear the envelope open;
I don't leave it sealed.
Not quite what I expected,
There isn't one thing inside the envelope
(But two).
One of the items isn't a letter.
I don't really read it
(But just skim to get the gist),
It isn't hand written.
I haven't been rejected
But I can't get any assistantships or scholarships.
This isn't good news,
But it isn't bad news either.
This isn't a question
(but it brings a big one up!)
I wasn't excited when I saw it in my mailbox.
I wasn't relieved when I read it.
I wasn't excited after reading it either,
(but people expected me to be).
I don't know what to do,
But I can't do nothing.

Now I exist in that gray space
Between eager anticipation and disappointment.
The dream seems just a little beyond my reach.
I know that I should be happy that I wasn't rejected,
But I'm not.
This answer only caused more questions.
And now I return to the place of uncertainty.
Though I am no longer waiting,
I don't know what do,
But at the same time, I can't do nothing.

And on top of that, there's more mail coming.



This was an interesting challenge, that I did enjoy. I don't often think in terms of the negative when trying to describe something. It's kind of like if you were trying to describe a photograph from its negative (do people even know what that kind of negative is anymore?) I think it was a good thinking exercise; I kept having to ask myself: "how do I say this, without saying that?". Not a perfect attempt from me, but I am content with the results. Perhaps I could even describe the whole experience with more negatives....What do you think? Add more or is it good as is?

Give it a try!

Sharon

NaPoWriMo 2015!

Call me nerdy, but when NaPoWriMo tweeted that they would be having countdown posts for the next 7 days leading up to April and the beginning of NaPoWriMo, I got pretty excited.

I do plan to ATTEMPT to write a poem every day in April, hopefully from NaPoWriMo's daily prompts (sometimes I have trouble getting inspired to write poetry, but I really do enjoy it).

So this post is meant to :

A) Inform you that I'll be posting a whole lot more now (at least once daily! [fingers crossed])
B) Encourage you to look into NaPoWriMo (and maybe even participate!)
C) To affirm that I am participating if any fellow NaPoWriMo-ers should happen to stop by before I post a poem (on account of my never having posted a poem here before)

There are three reasons that I'm excited about NaPoWriMo:

1) Ever since I discovered NaPoWriMo (I'm honestly not sure when that was, at least four years ago, I think?), I've attempted to write a poem inspired by the daily prompt, but as yet, I have not managed to stick it out through the entirety of April, but I'm really hoping that this year will be different since I'll be posting the poems on my blog instead of keeping them in a personal journal (even though that is my favorite way to write poems - there's something special about pen on paper, you know?).

2) It is a challenge: can you write a poem every day for 30 days? Yes? Prove it. "Don't believe me; just watch."

3) A lot of people claim they have no regrets, but you know what I do have regrets; I'm not perfect and I make mistakes and recently, I have realized just how much I wish I was a writing minor. I really miss creative writing and writing prompts and positive feedback on my writing and all the things that go with non-technical writing. As a biology major, I do a lot of writing (believe it or not), but it is always technical; I do enjoy it, but I just really want to be creative. Writing used to be my outlet and I have somewhat gotten back to that with this blog and with my journal (which I'm not keeping daily, but I always have with me to jot down quick ideas and whatnot), but I still feel a little bit of a creative void and I'm hoping that NaPoWriMo will help with it.

You might be wondering why I don't add a writing minor and the answer is simple, I'm graduating this May (everyone keeps counting down and I just wish they'd stop; I have too much to do before graduation and I currently have no clue what I'm doing after graduation [other than being in my childhood best friend's wedding! - but that's not what I mean...])

Finally, I hope you'll consider this post an invitation. I hope you'll consider taking this challenge with me, whether it's through following my blog (and calling me out if I haven't posted a poem that day!) or actually writing poems every day through April (whether pen and paper or blog form).

Will you be participating in NaPoWriMo? Do you wanna help keep me accountable? Are you going to follow my poetry posts or actually writing your own poems? Let me know; I'd love to hear from you!

In the meantime, I'm on pins and needles til NaPoWriMo posts the first prompt!

Eagerly,

Sharon

The Passover and the Lord's Supper

I recently had the great pleasure of attending a presentation of "Messiah in Passover" by a missionary from Chosen People Ministries.

It was a great presentation and it made me realize just how important the Passover should be to Christians.

We know that Jesus was celebrating the Passover when he gave us the tradition of the Lord's Supper.

But what I had never realized was that the Lord's Supper comes directly from the Passover Seder.

Early in the Seder, the middle piece of matzah is removed and broken. One half, called the afikoman, is hidden for later use.

After the meal has been eaten, the afikoman is found and eaten with the third cup of wine, the cup of Redemption, which represented the lambs' blood which directed the angel of death to "pass over" the Jews' homes in Egypt and spare their children from the last plague, but Jesus changed the meaning of this cup saying that it now represents HIS blood, the blood of the Lamb of God.

Luke 22:19-20: And when he had taken some bread and given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them saying, "This is my body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of me." And in the same way, he took the cup after they had eaten, saying, "This cup which is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood."

It is so symbolic. I don't know how we Christians have been missing it all for so long. I mean, the afikoman is broken, hidden, and then returned. Jesus was broken, buried, and raised. The Christian symbolism of the Passover Seder is amazing. I really feel that Christians should observe the Passover, after all, Jesus himself did.

There is so much more symbolism in this meal, if you have an opportunity to hear "Messiah in Passover" by someone from Chosen People Ministries, I really hope you will go listen.

Chosen People Ministries seeks to teach Jews about the Messiah, for more on them visit their website. They definitely deserve support!

Obviously there is way more to the Passover Seder, I just wanted to highlight the portion that Jesus made into the Last Supper. If you would like to learn more about the Passover Seder, here is a brief overview.

Blessings,

Sharon