Some Sort of Life Crisis

Hello internet,

Are you there?

No matter, I'll just write this poem here for you whenever you happen to stop by.




The other day I was driving on the highway
And we saw a car fire.
My sister called 911
A firetruck arrived
The fire was extinguished
We went about our day.


But today, I can't help but feel
That my life is that burning car
And I am the driver standing nearby
Helplessly watching it go up in smoke
Uncertain and unaware of where or how to go.

My life is not what I expected or anticipated
Or anywhere near what I would like it to be.

But I am stuck and I don't know how to go where I want.

You're not stuck.

I am. I'm stuck.
I can apply, apply, apply for jobs
And not get them.

I am working a job anyone could get
with a clean background
and a high school diploma.

My college degrees were in vain.
Wasted time. Wasted money.
Loans that seem insurmountable.

I think of that story
With the train
That just thought really hard
And tried really hard
And got over the hill.

I really liked that story as a kid.
I tried to live out that story as I grew up.

But I did not crest the hill.

They will tell you if you try hard enough
You'll get it
But that isn't true.

You've got to have the right stuff.
And I don't.
I don't have the experience.

And I've applied for jobs that I would like
That don't require experience
But if someone else who has experience applies
They will get the job.

So I guess I need to volunteer.
I should have volunteered and interned while I was in school.
I should have done more.

Getting a degree does not guarantee you a job

GETTING A DEGREE DOES NOT GUARANTEE YOU A JOB.

It doesn't even always guarantee you an interview.

I'm not saying college is a waste
It's just you've got to have the experience too.
So you have to volunteer and have a job and get internships
AND study and go to class.

Then maybe you'll be able to get a job that uses your degree.

And suddenly I feel like I've done everything wrong.
I studied hard but that wasn't enough.
I had an internship but that wasn't enough.

And it all kind of boils down to this massive feeling
that
I am NOT enough.

And so my life feels like a car on fire.
And I am twenty-five
And having some sort of life crisis.

If you couldn't tell, I'm feeling down,

Sharon

Closet Christianity

Recently, there was a post on BuzzFeed where the author (an educated, straight, female) said that she felt that admitting that she was a Christian was like coming out of the closet, but she felt as though being a homosexual is more widely accepted than being a Christian.

In the comments that followed the post, people said all sorts of mean things. Someone called her homophobic, lots of people said she was entitled, not a minority, and had no idea what she was talking about.

Now, I don't know what it's like to be gay and to be afraid to let the people around you and the world in general know that you are gay. BUT I do know what it is like to be a Christian in the field of science.

There are scientists who are Christian. The two are NOT mutually exclusive. But throughout my education, I have been extremely aware of people who think that Christians are idiots.

I have been afraid of admitting to peers and professors that I am Christian because I am afraid that they will think that I am stupid (my intelligence is very important to me), I am afraid that I will be rejected, I am afraid that it will hurt relationships.

I don't actively try to hide the fact that I am a Christian, but I don't try to reveal it either.

I recently began my Master's of Science in Marine Biology at Texas A&M at Galveston. It is a science and engineering focused school. There are few religious organizations on campus. I don't know if I am actually in the minority on campus, but it feels like I am.

It stings when you are at work and you hear someone say, "Don't you just hate it when someone posts something religious on facebook? Doesn't that make you uncomfortable?" As though you aren't allowed to post your opinions or religious affiliation on social media. Or that it is socially forbidden. That it is taboo.

The United States of America was founded on religious freedom. It is in the 1st Amendment of the Bill of Rights. That shows just how important it is. But we have moved away from freedom of religion to freedom from religion.

Religious people are often looked down on. Christians are often looked down on.

I don't what to be thought less of for being a Christian anymore than a gay person wants to be thought less of for being gay. We are all people, regardless of our religious affiliation, sexual orientation, race, nationality, gender, sex, hair color... and we deserve to be treated as such.

Know one should have to hide who they are for fear of being mocked, rejected, ostracized, belittled, or hurt.

You don't have to like me, but would you mind at least trying to get to know me before you make that decision?

That's my two cents.

-Sharon

Introvert Seeking Christian Community in Grad School

Let me begin by defining a few terms for you.

Introvert (this one, I probably should have defined in one of my first posts) -

According to dictionary.com, an introvert is "1. a shy person." or in psychology "a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings (opposed to extrovert)."

That is almost how I would describe myself. My definition of introvert is slightly different. To me, an introvert is a quiet person who spends a lot of time within themselves. They may or may not like people, but they tend to shy away from contact with new people. In fact, contact with new people tends to make them uncomfortable. But, when around people they know well, they come out of their shells and may be quite animated. Generally, introverts do better with one-on-one or small group interactions. They may seem socially awkward at times. But, even introverts need support systems and communities. Sometimes, they may long for interaction with other people.

Christian Community -

You may come across a multitude of different definitions of this phrase if you google it. To me Christian community is a group of people whom you "do life with." These are people you meet with regularly, people you study the word with, pray with and for, ask to pray for you, share your struggles, and burdens with. Christian community is about sharing your life with others. It is having a support group who help you through struggles, root for you, build you up, and you do the same for them. You learn from each other and worship together.



Now it is only within the last few years that I have learned about Christian community. I grew up in the Church, but I didn't understand how you could be vulnerable with other people and be safe. I didn't understand the value of Christian community until the last two years. I started to want it when I was in college, but I ignored the desire my freshman and sophomore years. All at the same time, I started to see the value in Christian community. My parents started going to a very small church that was very welcoming and my junior year of college I joined Phi Lamb and Chi Alpha at Texas State. I don't know why, but things that had never clicked before started clicking with me within these groups. I had had church friends and I had talked about God with my friends and my parents, but something was changing within me.

Now, I miss that very much.

I miss having a Christian community to go to every week. I miss having people pray for me, I miss having people to worship with. I miss learning about the personal lives of the people in my Christian community. I miss seeing God work within my Christian communities.

I am still somewhat connected with those communities and I can (and do) go to them for support and prayer when I need it. I know that my Big is only a text away and that my sisters and friends are willing to pray if I only go and ask on the facebook page.

But I don't have a community to go be a part of each week.

Seeking a community is a struggle for me. I've been going to church on Sundays, but I haven't been interacting with a Christian community here in this new town, on this new campus. Seeking out a community is scary for me. I hate entering situations where I know no one. And thus far into the semester, it has prevented me from seeking out a community on campus. I have made a few friends, but I can feel that familiar desire, that desire to be actively connected with a body of believers where I am.

I am going to have to seek it out, even if it scares me. I'll probably text some of my new friends to see if they are connected with a group here so that I can tag along with them. And if they aren't, I can invite them to seek out a group with me. Having one person I know will make it that much less scary.

Usually graduate students don't get involved with organizations on their campus. They don't get into the spirit of the school. I'm not sure why, but that seems to be the case. But, I feel a pull; I need to be a part of a Christian community here.

I worry that my options are limited. TAMUG is first and foremost a science and engineering school. And, generally, scientists and engineers aren't known for being Christians, though some are. I know there is a YoungLife group on campus, so I may check that out. If it doesn't seem like the right fit for me, I know some local churches have college groups, and if I feel so led, I could even start a new group on campus.

That's where I am right now. I am an introverted graduate student, cautiously and nervously seeking Christian community. Hopefully, I find the place I need to be.

Love,

Sharon

Money, Money, Money: It's a Rich Man's World

Let me first apologize for not posting for about a month. I have been busy getting into the swing of grad school, a new job, things related to my sister's wedding, and have barely had any time to even think about posting a blog. I'm trying, I really am, but maybe there's no point in posting something when you don't have anything to say.

Right now I actually do have something to say. Let me warn you that this is a long post, but I hope that you'll stick it out til the end.

A few nights ago, I went to the grocery store and spent $115 which is A) the most I've ever spent at the grocery store B) more than I make in a week and C) about 20% of my rent. I pretended it was no big deal externally, while having a minor conniption internally, but I somehow calmed myself down. I exited the store, found my car, and loaded up my groceries. As I was putting the last few bags in my car I heard a quiet voice say, "Excuse me, ma'am?" I turned toward the man, "Could you help me buy a McDonald's sandwich?" I turned to my purse and dug around for my wallet; when I found it and was looking to see what I had, he was saying, "I've already got a little bit, if you could just give me like $0.27?" I handed him a $5. "God bless you." He said, I murmured something and he got onto his bike and rode away. He was missing teeth and looked a little bit dirty, but really not too bad.

On the drive home, I reflected on what I had done. Had I done the right thing? Was he really going to buy food? After awhile, I came to the conclusion that it didn't matter what he did with the money. I hoped he would use it for food, but I had done my part and could only hope for the best for this man who had approached me in the Randall's parking lot.

Back at my apartment, I plugged my phone in and set it on the arm of the couch while I cooked my supper. It slid off the arm and hit the floor. When I finally went over to it, I discovered the screen had shattered, though it still worked. I was frustrated and mentally began comparing myself to Job.

You know Job don't you? Job is the man in the Bible who is the subject of the devil's experiment. According to the story, God allows the devil to take everything away from Job. The devil thinks that Job will turn against God. God knows that Job won't. Jobs children and wife die, his home is destroyed, and I don't remember what else he loses, but its pretty bad.

And I had the audacity to compare myself to Job?

I wasn't mad at God. But I was a little frustrated. I had just given money to a man to help him buy dinner even though I am in debt and had just spent a ridiculous sum at the grocery store. Why were all of these bad things happening to me?

God doesn't work that way, though. The world doesn't work that way. Karma is not a thing. It seems like if you do good things, good things should happen to you, but that isn't true. In the New Testament, in the story of the rich young ruler (Mark 10:17-31), the apostles are concerned because they have given up everything to follow Jesus. They ask him if they will be rewarded and he tells them on earth: maybe; in heaven: definitely (Mark 10: 28-31). We have to remember that, as Christians, our reward is not of this earth, it is in heaven.

But that isn't my point.

The next afternoon I went to AT&T to get a new cell phone, thinking that I would be able to just get a free upgrade since I had had that phone for like four years. But AT&T basically doesn't do that anymore. Would nothing go my way? So after a long phone call with my dad, I got the least expensive phone available with AT&T Next (which I really did not want to sign up for, but I did because supposedly it was the most cost effective option). A low amount would be added to my family's monthly bill and I paid the tax in store. I was honestly worried that my card would be declined for the tax because of my expensive groceries the night before.

That night, I had insomnia, as I often do. That particular night, I couldn't sleep because I was thinking of all of my financial burdens: rent, food, loans, interest on said loans, gas. And I was incredibly stressed. I began a mental downward spiral. I second guessed my decision to get a new cell phone. I second guessed my decision to take out loans to come to grad school. I worried that I would graduate with my Master's degree and not be able to find a job to pay off my loans. What if I could never pay off my loans?

All of our lives we are taught that money is power. Even if it is never said explicitly. We hear phrases like "money talks," we see that candidates with the most money in their campaigns often win elections. We need money for our basic needs: food, shelter, clothing. If you don't have money, you are powerless, you are weak. You are the man asking a 23 year old for money to buy a burger from McDonald's. That is what our society says, anyway. We value the glitz and glamour of people with lots of money. We envy them; we think that if we can just have as much money as them, we will be happy.

We look down on people who are poor. We judge them. We assume that they are lazy and if they would just go get a job they would be fine. We resent them. We HATE them.

We HATE them.

Why?

Because they have no money.

So they must be lazy. They must be useless. They must be self-entitled.

So we snub them. Because they are less fortunate than we are.

I know people who call themselves Christ followers and yet they HATE these people.

Why? Because we believe that worth comes from money.

And that's why I was stressing out and spiraling downward. If I was under a load of loans, if I end up with no money, I thought that that would mean that I was powerless, weak, stupid, useless, worthless.

It isn't true.

That man in the Randall's parking lot is loved by God just as much as I am. He may not have enough money to buy a burger at McDonald's, but God rejoices over that man daily. God kisses his forehead. God holds him in the palm of his hand. God says to him, "You are my beloved. You are my creation. You are precious to me."

So I think this is what God had been training me for. This scary situation where I was getting into debt to pursue the passions that he instilled within me. When I doubt myself, it is because I am not relying on him. I am not trusting him to be faithful to me as he always has been.

He has been specifically faithful to me with finances within the last several months. He has been preparing me for the anxieties that he knew I would encounter. He has been preparing me for the self-doubt. He has been training me to believe that even though I don't have the money right now, he will provide it. He will provide a job, or a stipend, or a scholarship to pay off my loans or to keep me from taking out more loans. I don't know how, I don't know when, but I do know that my God is faithful and he will provide.

Blessings Until Next Time,

Sharon

Going to Grad School: Signing the Lease

You've been approved for your apartment and its time to sign your lease!

Usually a representative of the apartment will go through the lease with you and show you where to initial, sign, and date the document. Even though they will offer a brief summary of each page, it is SO important  that you read each page and section, you need to know what you are agreeing to. A lease is a legally binding document.

Usually at the same that you sign the lease, the guaranty form will need to be completed. This form should be completed by someone (usually a parent or guardian) who agrees to pay your rent for you if you don't for some reason.

There may be additional forms filled out at this time as well. Such as pet or vehicle information.

You may also need to submit your security deposit at this time if you haven't already.

There is often a Community Policy Handbook that you will have to sign and agree to abide by.

Again, be sure to read everything that you sign!

Soon, it will be time to move in!

Unitl then,

Sharon

Going to Grad School: Applying for your Apartment

Congratulations! You've found your ideal apartment; so now it's time to apply!

If you can, I reccommend applying in person, that way the leasing agent or apartment representative will be able to ensure that your application is complete.

If you can't apply in person, don't fret! Many apartments allow you to apply online either through a form online or you may be able to fax or email the application to the apartment manager.

In addition to the actual application, you will usually need to pay an application fee, some complexes require you to submit your deposit with your application, they may request a copy of your ID, and most students require a guarantor so there is often a form for your potential guarantor to sign.

Once your application is complete, the complex will likely look into your credit history, perform a criminal background check, and often check your rental history.

As long as everything comes back clear; you'll be approved and it'll be time to sign the lease! I'll be back next time with some advice on signing the lease.

Good luck,

Sharon

Going to Grad School: Finding a Place to Live

During the spring semester of my senior year at Texas State University, I applied to the master's non-thesis Marine Biology IDP program at TAMUG. I was accepted.

At first I wasn't sure if I was going to go or not, but after I applied for a ton of jobs, I hoped that that was a signal from the man upstairs that I should go ahead and go to grad school.

This meant that I had to find a place to live in Galveston. But as I'm about four hours away, that is quite difficult.

I googled Apartments in Galveston, TX which did return results, but ultimately wasn't that helpful. I looked on craigslist for apartments which helped me find two possible complexes and I looked up apartment locators in Galveston. However, the most useful resource was from the University's website.

Many Universities have information about off-campus living. This is probably the most reliable resource you can use. Although TAMUG requires all undergraduate students to live on campus, they have a listing of apartments which are willing to work with students, this listing also included what the rental rates were and what was included.

What to look for:

1. Rent - First, make yourself an approximate budget and determine how much you can afford in monthly rent. Do not look at apartments that are above your price range.

2. Utilities - Some apartments which are geared toward students will include all or some amount of the utilities. But it is very important to know what you are expected to pay. At my two apartments in San Marcos, no utilities were included. The electricity was metered and paid through the city, which worked out quite well. At my first apartment gas and water were allocated (water was allocated at my second apartment), which frustrated me. This means that your water bill is dependent on the entire building's water usage, which is then divided by the number and square footage of the units. So it is very difficult to control bills for utilities that are allocated. Utilities also tend to change from month to month so when rent includes all of your  utilities, budgeting is a lot easier.

3. Proximity to campus - I prefer to live within walking distance to campus, but if you don't mind living further and driving to and from school then you can increase your search radius. Often, apartments further from campus are less expensive. Also, if yur school has a bus system, its a good idea to look for an apartment that is either on the bus route or within walking distance of a bus stop.

4. Lease length - Often student's only live in the college town during the school year. If you plan to go home during the summer, it's a good idea to look for an apartment that offers 9 moth lease terms. But often, you may be stuck with a 12 month lease.

5. Roommates - Living with roommates is often less expensive, but can introduce new issues. Living in an apartment that offers "by-the-bed" leasing can help to reduce tensions because you aren't responsible for your roommates rent. If you would like to have roommates to save money, but don't have anyone to live with, keep in mind that many apartments do "roommate matching" though it should be noted that they may not try that hard to match you with someone. I have friends who say that you should not live with friends, because it may ruin the friendship. While this isn't true of everyone, I have seen it happen. If you do live with roommates, I recommend suggesting a "Roommate Agreement" which may help ease tension and reduce future problems. Just remember, you have to stick to the roommate agreement, not just your new roommate.

6. Do you have pets that you will be bringing with you? Most apartments have a pet deposit or pet rent. Some complexes have breed restrictions on dogs. These are things to be aware of when looking for your apartment.

Once you've found your ideal apartment, it's time to apply! I'll talk about that in my next post.

Happy hunting,

Sharon

NaPoWriMo Day 18

Today's prompt is to write a poem that involves an urgent journey and an important message.

GRADUATION IS COMING
She ran through the campus
Up hills down hills straight through the quad
Past the statue of LBJ
All the way to the bookstore to get her cap and gown
But they were out!
GRADUATION IS COMING
All the seniors can be found
With their noses in the books
And they won't come up til May
GRADUATION IS COMING
The cry rings out
Some seniors are excited
But others are anxious
GRADUATION IS COMING
But there's still so much to do
Two papers,
One presentation
One quiz
Two tests
Three finals.
GRADUATION IS COMING
We're in the home stretch now
A little less than a month
And we'll be walking across that stage
Jumping in the river
And moving
But first we gotta run
Because
GRADUATION IS COMING

Not exactly what I was hoping for. But I'm listening to music while working on this so that probably messed me up. But I can mess around with it and tweak it.

-Sharon

NaPoWriMo - Day 8: Palinode

Today's prompt is to write a palinode which is, apparently, a poem that retracts a statement in a previous poem. If we don't have a statement in a poem we'd like to retract, Maureen (Ms. Thorson) suggests that we write about why we changed our mind about something instead. I think that is what I'm going to do.


There is much debate about why
I decided the summer after high school
To go here, instead of there.
My sister insists that it is because of a boy
(who later broke my heart);
She is still bitter about it
(Notice I said she, not I)
And, I suppose that is part.
But I was also scared
To be so far away from home
And I didn't have a car to make the trek
Whenever I wanted to
I would have been stuck there,
All alone,
Until a holiday
When my parents would've come to get me.
There is also the fact that they told me
That they had nowhere for me to live
But I was required to live on campus -
NO getting around it.
Where would I sleep?
I wondered.
Where would all my things go?
But here,
Is just down the road from home
I could commute
(Just 30 minutes).
There is much debate about why
I decided to go to Texas State
Instead of Texas A&M - Galveston
Even though things have worked out well
I've been on the Dean's List a few times
I joined an honor society
A Christian sorority
A Christian fellowship
I've made friends
I've gotten jobs
I've grown closer to God
I've become slightly more independent
Sometimes I'm really happy here
(When I'm not I'm usually tired, hungry, stressed, burned out).
And now I feel more confident to spread my wings
And wander further from my parents.
So really things have worked out quite well.
But all of these benefits are wiped away
When my sister says
"You should have gone to A&M Galveston"
And she blames it all on that boy, maybe unjustly.
Maybe she should thank him,
But she refuses to see
That maybe
(Just maybe)
Going to Texas State
Was the best thing
For me.



Not really sure if this qualifies as the suggested variation of a palinode, but this is my attempt for today's prompt! What do you think? Please tell, I won't bite!

Sometimes what we think is best for someone else, isn't,

Sharon

The Parable of the Lost Sheep

In campus ministries we talk a lot about reaching those who don't know Christ and I know that is important and it is definitely a meaningful and worthwhile goal, but I think we are missing something here.

In our focus on those who don't know Christ we forget about those who do know Christ.

Just because someone believes in Christ doesn't mean they aren't lost...

...or wandering....

....or questioning....

....or feeling alone....

In college, we are surrounded by independence and freedom, we are surrounded by the secular. We are surrounded by Christians and non-Christians. And maybe in this tumultuous time, we get swept under, lost. And when we finally bob to the surface there isn't a Christian in sight.

Maybe like me, they are shy and introverted. I don't like to go to new places alone. It helps me to have someone with me or an invitation to go. I wouldn't have found Chi Alpha at Texas State if one of my (few) friends hadn't invited me to their BBQ at the beginning of my junior year.

It was a huge leap of faith for me to join Sigma Phi Lambda because I knew no one in it and I knew no one joining it, but I had been fighting the feeling that I should join it up until my junior year.

I'm so glad that I took those scary steps of faith to join those organizations because I have made amazing friends and I have learned wonderful things, I have so many people to go to for love and support and prayer in times of need.

But what if my friend hadn't invited me to the BBQ, what if I hadn't been courageous and joined Phi Lamb? I don't even want to imagine where I would be. But I will. I would be scared and alone ALL the time. I would be isolated and when things were difficult I would have no friends to turn to. I wouldn't have friends to speak God's truth into my life when I need it. I would be so ready to get out of here, but instead I am sad to go, because I have found such community here.

Being a Christian means being a part of community. But not all Christians will seek it out in college. So those of us who have found community need to seek out those isolated Christians, we need to befriend them, we need to show them that they are not alone and they never have to be alone.

In Luke 15, Jesus tells the parable of the lost sheep. A shepherd has 100 sheep, but one is missing, but that one is so important the he leaves the other 99 to find the 1 that is lost.

What do we know about that one sheep?

It was part of the flock,
         but now it isn't.
The shepherd knows it
         and he knows that it's missing.
The sheep may be in danger.
That one sheep is very valuable.

That one sheep is like Christians who haven't found a spot at college. They are lost, they are valuable, they are alone, they are separate, they may be in danger, and the Lord knows them. And he wants them to be a part of the community very much. It is not the responsibility of the sheep to find the flock, it is the responsibility of the shepherd to find the sheep. Though we are the sheep, we are also the hands and feet and mouth of Christ, therefore, we are the hands and feet and the mouth of the shepherd.

Therefore, it is our duty to find the lost or alone or separated Christians. It is our duty to reunite them with the body of believers.

 I believe that finding and reaching them is an achievable goal.

Applying to Grad School (or My Totally Weird Experience Taking the GRE)

So I'm applying to Graduate School! Which is exciting I guess.... I hope I get in, but I'm not sure if I'll go or not. I really want to but a) I'm sort of tired of school and b) I'm not sure how I'll pay for it (I'm applying for a non-thesis program which means there's little to no funding). But part of me really wants to go! So we'll see what happens, but first I have to get in! So first I want to give you a quick run-down of what the application entails. And then I'm going to tell you about the totally weird experience I had taking the GRE (but NO content of the exam, because that violates the rules of the test and can result in bad things, like my scores on the exam being cancelled. It's kinda like the AP tests and all that).

So for my application to grad school (which is pretty standard)  I had to submit:

• The ApplyTexas application (again?!?!?) (if you aren't from Texas, this is the common application that ALL public schools in Texas have to accept and most private schools accept as well).
• An application fee (which was $50)
• Three letters of recommendation! This gave me a bit of pause, because I am introverted and shy, I don't tend to go to my professors' offices and get to know them. I easily thought of one professor (my go-to for letters of recommendation because I had him for two classes and I knew he knew me fairly well), remembered that one of my professors REALLY wanted all of us to go to graduate school (he told me he thought I would get accepted by the program when I asked him [through email of course - shy, remember] - that was so encouraging!), and thought of another professor who I knew knew who I was (the bar was kinda low here). I can not reiterate this enough: TALK TO YOUR PROFESSORS, it helps your grade and you never know when you'll need their letter of recommendation.
• A statement of purpose - this is basically saying why you want to go to grad school, specificially their program, what you can gain from it, and what you have to offer. It's kind of like an elevator pitch. I feel like I could've done way better, but oh well.
• A resume/CV
• My GRE scores (it costs $150 to take this test by the way)

(For more info about what applying to grad school feels like see this buzzfeed article, it's pretty funny and accurate at the same time).

That brings us to My Totally Weird Experience Taking the GRE. So looks like this post might be a little long. Hopefully, you think this is funny/outlandish/entertaining or something.

So to begin with, I was frustrated because when I started looking into taking the GRE, I discovered that I could not take the GRE in San Marcos (where I go to school), but instead, I would have to take it in Austin or San Antonio. I don't have a car, so getting there would be difficult.  Plus it was $150! Believe me, I don't have that lying around. So I talked to my parents and they said that not only would they foot the bill, but my dad would drive me to and from the test (parents of the year, every year [my parents are awesome - this is not sarcastic]). So I sign up and my test is the following Wednesday which happens to be the week that school starts so no time to study for this super important test...oh well, I'll just do the best I can.

So the day of the test comes, dad picks me up from my apartment, we get lunch, and drive like an hour to the other side of San Antonio (I think, I really don't know most of San Antonio very well). And we go to a nearby Barnes and Nobles because we have about an hour til I'm supposed to be there. Then we head to a nearby shopping center where the Prometric Testing Center is "co-located" (pretty sure they made up that word) with a Sylvan Learning Center, but there are two doors so I'm not sure which one to go in. So I go in the Prometric one and walk down this really weird long hallway to another door which informs me that I need to turn off my phone and send my dad away. So he goes back to the car (where he'll wait for a little bit because I was slightly concerned they wouldn't let me test because the name on my driver's license doesn't 100% match the name I registered for the test with - but I couldn't figure out how to change it for the life of me).

The place is dead quiet. And there's like NO ONE there (but I hear voices coming from the back). It kinda looks like a doctor's office. So I go over to the reception desk that says check in here. And I stand there for a minute before a lady comes out and asks for my ID and asks if my phone is off and tells me I need to empty my pockets (which were empty, thankfully). She gives me forms on a clipboard and a key to a locker to put my stuff in but tells me to keep my ID with me at all times and that I'll need to sign the paper and copy the paragraph on the bottom and we can get started when I finish the form.

So I put my purse in the locker and go sit down to do the form. It's mostly just agreeing to rules. Then I accidentally check a box indicating I'm not a US citizen (which I am, whoops!), only I haven't realized it yet. So when I go to turn in the form (to a different girl) she's like "Do you have your papers or passport?" So I get super confused and say "No, just my driver's license." The girl looks at me like I'm crazy and is like, "Are you a US citizen?" I say I am. She tells me I checked a box saying I'm not...I quickly scratch that out and check the correct box which satisfies her.

She takes me back and has me stand on these two footprints. She has me pull out my pockets to show they're empty, then she has me rub my hands side to side in my back pockets to show those are empty too. She has me push up my sleeves as far as I can. She has me pull my pants up so that she can see that there's nothing on my ankles. Then she has me put my feet together and uses one of those paddle things they use at airports and what-not when you make a metal detector go off to make sure I don't have anything hidden on me, I guess. She also has me take off my glasses so that she can make sure there's nothing on the back of them (I have no idea what they were looking for - a disguised google glass, maybe? I'm way too poor for that and I have no connections so...).

Now I sit in front of a guy at a computer (which I notice shows all of the people at the computer stations in the testing room - um, creepy); he takes my driver's license and has me tell him the address I used to register for the test. And the email I used to sign up for the test, which makes me nervous because I have two and I don't remember which I signed up with and I'm wondering if I tell them the wrong one if they'll make me leave. I tell them my school email, which turns out to be correct (thank goodness). Then he takes a terrible picture of me with a webcam (which I later realize will be sent to the school with my score report, thanks guys). He explains a bunch of rules to me, which I'm fairly certain are the same ones I read and agreed to earlier. Then they have me sign in on a sheet they've made just for me, and of course I sign in the wrong spot (ooops! I'm nervous, guys, sorry).

Then the girl takes me into the room with my four sheets of scratch paper and two pencils that they provide and my ID and locker key. She tells me to stand with my back to the wall while she puts the stuff at my station. I sit down and a little over two hours later, I finish. I sit there at the computer for awhile, wondering if I'm allowed to get up and leave or if I have to raise my hand to let them know, because this is the one thing they didn't tell me. Finally, I decide I'll just stand up and see if ninjas jump on me or something (they don't). Sign out, get my purse out of the locker, put the key on the desk (as I was instructed). And I was SO glad to leave!

I wonder if they were supposed to take a blood sample, too?

Good luck if you ever have to take the GRE,

Sharon

Spring 2015: The Beginning of the End of My Undergraduate Career

Well the last semester of my undergraduate career begins tomorrow. I have a distinct feeling that I am not quite ready to be done with school, yet at the same time, I am tired of it. I will miss my sorority, the other organizations I joined, the friends I have made, and the beautiful campus.

I won't miss rushing across campus, stressing about tests or grades in general, and listening to people complain about college.

I will miss the routine and the knowing. Knowing what I would be doing next hour, next week, next year.

I don't know what I'll be doing next year. The uncertainty scares me.

I think this semester will be rough. I think it will be a relief to only be taking 12 hours (the fewest I've ever taken).

I don't think that I will really believe that I have finished and earned my undergraduate degree until I receive it in the mail after graduation.

I know that I can be proud of what I have accomplished. I know that I can be proud that I actually managed to graduate in four years (if I do..I hope I do).

Bring it on Spring 2015! I can do this!

(For advice if you are early in your career or if you aren't enjoying college, you can read my post, College Advice for Freshmen.)

Have a Great Semester!

Sharon

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Football Game

So as I was walking to the football game on my lonesome Thursday night, an odd thing happened. I was approaching the tailgate zone and this guy stopped me, "Excuse me," he said, "I'm not trying to be weird, but I really just wanted to tell you that you are beautiful." 

"That is kind of weird, but thanks," I said.
"I don't mean to be weird, I just really felt in my heart that I needed to tell you that you are beautiful. And it's true. You're truly beautiful. Have a good night."
"Thanks," I said, "you too."

The guy seemed completely normal (as in, not altered in any way), but it was odd to say the least. He was a complete stranger and yet he felt compelled to stop me and tell me that I am beautiful, and beyond that, he actually stopped and told me. I can't say that I would. I posted the story on my Facebook and a ton of people liked it and my sister commented that obviously God was trying to send me a message. And maybe He was. The guy did say that he felt in his heart that he needed to tell me. I think this is even more amazing to me because I've never really felt like I actually heard God before. I've felt Him, I've seen Him in things, but I've never heard Him. And there he was as I was going to a football game, a completely normal thing, telling me that I, his creation, his daughter, am beautiful. I just can't even. And honestly, I haven't been feeling very beautiful lately. I've been feeling exhausted, stressed, frazzled, sad, used, drained, disastrous, but certainly not beautiful. Heck, I've even felt somewhat like a bad person recently. And to think, God knew how I was feeling and he put it in this random stranger's heart to tell me that despite everything, I am beautiful. Inside and out. That is pretty darn awesome. We do have an awesome God.

And if this somehow gets back to that random guy, thank you. That was exactly what I needed to hear. You are awesome. I love you (I'm not trying to be weird).

I am just dumbfounded that he felt in his heart that he should tell me that and he did it. I have felt that I should say something to people before. And I didn't do it. Yet, this guy has an obedient heart. How much better would the world be if we all listened to our hearts and did what was laid on them?

I hope that in the future, I can be more obedient to the Lord, because you never know why He is telling you to do something.

Stay beautiful, be obedient, and listen,

Sharon

Failure

I haven't posted in a couple of weeks because I'm struggling this semester. For the first time ever in my life, I am failing a class. It has me stressed out, confused, questioning my choices, depressed, terrified, and anxious. I've never failed a class before. NEVER.

I am a senior in college, wanting to graduate in May....FAILING a class required for my major.

A class REQUIRED to graduate.

How can this be?

I am struggling. I am being pulled under by a wave of emotions and confusion. I am overcome by a flood of thoughts.

I wish I had an easier major...

Maybe I should change my major....

Am I going to graduate....

What am I going to do...

I'm a failure...

I'm scared....

Why are these classes so hard....

What am I doing wrong....

Why can't I catch a break....

This isn't what I want to do with my life...

I'm not motivated....

It's a vicious cycle. I don't want to fail. But my lack of motivation this semester is what put me here. Then when I see a bad grade, the lack of motivation kicks in and makes me even less motivated. It's a negative feedback loop.

And frankly, nothing anyone is saying is helping.

I don't want to be told that I can do it.

I don't want to be told to go talk to the professor.

I don't want to be told that it's totally normal and everyone fails sometimes.

I don't want to be told that I have a plan should the worst happen (which it will, I've reached the point of no return, I am going to receive an F and I'm going to have to retake the class).

I want to be affirmed. Because I feel really lousy. I feel like a failure. I feel like failing defines me. I feel that I am a failure.

So if you are struggling, if you are failing at a job, a relationship, an assignment, a test, a class, or anything else, I am going to tell you what I wish someone would tell me.

Failing does not define you. Don't let failure bring you down and hurt you. Don't beat yourself up.

In the grand scheme of things, this failure DOES NOT MATTER.

You are inherently worthwhile. You are worth so much, and this struggle, this failure does not change that. You are beautiful. You are loved. You are worthy. You are intelligent. You are important.

I am proud of you.

I AM PROUD OF YOU.

Nothing will change that.

So don't let this failure define you. I am sorry that you are struggling, I am sorry that you are having a hard time, but everything will be okay. Just keep going no matter what struggles come your way.

And if you need to take a break, if you need to sit and cry and question life, I will sit with you. I will put my arm around your shoulder and sit with you silently in the pouring rain until you are ready to get up and get going again.

I don't have the answers. But I do know that the world is bigger than this. You are bigger than this.

It'll be okay,

Sharon

Sorority Stereotype

I've noticed all of my life that there are a lot of stereotypes surrounding sororities. It didn't really bother me until recently.

When people find out that I am a member of a sorority they often say: "You joined a sorority? You don't seem like the type."

Recently a friend of mine from high school posted on facebook saying "this applies everywhere - sororities and fraternities are idiotic, elitist, and downright meaningless." I commented on this post saying that this wasn't true of ALL sororities/fraternities and he deleted it, which is annoying but completely within his rights. But it's also within my rights to stand up for my sorority which is not idiotic, elitist, or "downright meaningless."

1. We are not idiotic. A sorority is just another kind of club. The main thing that unifies a sorority is that the members are all female. In my sorority, we are all female and we are also all believers in Christ.

We don't do hazing. I'm not saying it doesn't happen in other sororities or fraternities, because it does. I have heard horrible instances of hazing, I'm just lucky that I didn't have to go through that. And if someone had tried to haze me, I would have said no and reported them to the university and the authorities. If you were hazed, I am very, very, very sorry. If that did not stop you from staying in the sorority/frat, I beg you: DO NOT HAZE NEW MEMBERS. It is not okay. Break the chain. Hazing is abuse. It is disgusting and wrong. DO NOT LET YOUR BROTHERS OR SISTERS HAZE NEW MEMBERS. It just shouldn't happen. It needs to stop now. It reflects badly on all sororities and fraternities, JUST DON'T DO IT.

2. We are not elitist. I am assuming that he was referring to the normal process of joining. Typically, you go to a bunch of events and meet the members of the various sororities and you visit the houses and eventually bid day comes around and you find out which sorority/fraternity wants you. I admit, I have not been through this process. My sorority is not Pan-Hellenic. We do not do this process. We have events for prospective new members, but it is up to the new member: they decide whether they want to join or not. We do not turn ANYONE down. We do not pick you, YOU PICK US. For this reason, my sorority attracts girls from all walks of life. We are a very diverse group of girls who share a belief in Christ.

3. We are not "downright meaningless." My sorority is a huge group of supportive women. We support each other through tough times, we study together, we pray together, we worship together, we serve together, we give together.

All sororities and fraternities have philanthropies that they raise money for. SOME do bad things like hazing, but please don't lump us together.

Another thing I heard when I joined a sorority was that I was paying for friends. This person was referring to paying dues. All clubs need money to operate during the year. Dues are one way of collecting money for the operating costs of an organization. If I was paying for friends, I would be offering people money to hang out with me and that's not the same thing at all. My sorority hosts events and we go on retreats, these things cost money and our dues help to pay for them.

I hope you'll consider going greek this year.

Until Next Time,

Sharon

Evolution and Christianity - Through My Eyes

A little preface to this post:

This summer at the state park, I was talking to one of the park hosts and I mentioned that I had reconciled evolution and Christianity, although for me it was never too much of a problem. She said that I should write down how I reconciled the two, because it might help someone else. So I did. The result was about two pages, but it really is the result of my entire life in church and at least a year and a half of biology courses (I have taken even more since I reconciled my belief in God and evolution and they often provide additional support for my understanding). After I wrote this, I had planned to share it here, but I didn't plan to share it so soon.

Before my internship started, my parents and I stopped in Sonora, Tx at the little Methodist church there. The pastor talked to me beforehand and during the children's sermon, she asked if she could pray for me. One of the things she prayed  for was that God would help me to share my faith while at my internship, and I remember thinking "how am I going to share my faith as an intern at a state park out in the middle of West Texas?"

Well Saturday, I was speaking with the wife of one of the men who lives and works at the park and she mentioned that one of the campers had given her a Bible because they were talking about religion, and she is an athiest. She told me that she wants to believe because it seems to provide a lot of comfort to some people, but she just can't.

I've been thinking about how I can share this with her since then. My heart was moved and I really want to reach out to her. So this is my first step. I'm sharing it here, and then I am going to write her a letter and leave it in the Bible the camper gave her. It might be cowardly, but that is what I plan to do.

God conspires (I love that word) in strange ways.

If you are scientific and you are questioning Christianity in light of evolution, I hope this helps you. And if you are Christian and wondering how to speak to people who accept evolution as true, I hope this helps you as well. And for everyone, I hope you'll find this interesting and thought-provoking and I hope you'll learn something. 

As a biology student and a Christian, I realized early on that I needed to reconcile those two things. So I did some thinking and discussing with those around me. The evidence for evolution was strong. But the conviction in my heart that God IS real and that God created ME (and all of the beautiful things around me that made me want to study biology in the first place) was equally strong. The definition of evolution (change in allele frequencies in a population over time) was logical. But if the changes occurred to a great enough extreme, it would follow that a group of new, different, possibly reproductively isolated (the Biological-Species concept) individuals (yes, a species) could potentially arise. And this process could occur often enough to create the chain of organisms that scientists recognize. But, if this were the case, shouldn’t there be some sort of record of ALL of those intermediate forms (this would be Gradualism, of which, Darwin was a proponent)? Perhaps, the forms were indistinguishable from one another until the new species emerged? That explanation isn’t very satisfying; perhaps something else was going on?

Cue, Punctuated Equilibrium. If you don’t know, this is the idea that there were long periods of no change followed by shorter periods of rapid change. If the changes were rapid, then it would make sense that there would be few of the intermediate forms, and lots of the forms from the periods of stagnation. Makes sense to me.

Now let’s say we go all the way back to the very beginning of the chain of life on earth. We are taught in biology that life began with some sort of unicellular organism which could exist in an anaerobic atmosphere. Some sort of cyanobacteria came onto the scene, producing oxygen and maybe some bubbles of oxygen gas rose up from under water supplying oxygen to our atmosphere. Once there was oxygen in the atmosphere, further evolution could occur.

But we haven’t gone back far enough yet. What caused the planet to exist with an anaerobic atmosphere and that unicellular protist which eventually gave rise to all life? Depending on your school of thought, your answer may vary. Perhaps you’ll say the Big Bang. Or perhaps, you’ll say God. Let’s consider the former.

The Big Bang tells us that all matter was this huge ball of energy and one day it just exploded randomly forming the universe (which may be expanding or collapsing, go see a physicist for more, my understanding of the Big Bang is, admittedly, hazy) including our galaxy, including our solar system, including our planet.

So let’s go back even further. What caused the Big Bang?

…….

…….

……..

No, I’m serious, tell me, what caused the Big Bang?

Imagine a series of dominoes falling. The last domino has just fallen. What caused it to fall? The domino before it. And what caused that domino to fall? The domino before it…And eventually, what caused the very first domino to fall? Someone or something pushed the first domino which caused a chain reaction which ultimately caused the very last domino to fall. So what pushed the first domino? Let’s just say it was a finger.

The first domino is the Big Bang, by the way.

God is the finger.

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth.

On the third day, God created seed-bearing plants and fruited plants.

On the fifth day, God created fish and birds.

On the sixth day, God created the animals of the land.

Evolution says that plants were one of the first lineages to arise. Followed, eventually, by fish. Which in turn were followed by amphibians, then reptiles, then birds, and mammals. Sound familiar? It is essentially the same order.

But the Bible says that creation took a total of seven days, while evolution says these same events occurred over millions of years. There is this funny thing about the Bible, it wasn’t originally written in English. It was written in a variety of ancient languages, including Hebrew. In Hebrew the word "yom" which means “day” has at least three meanings: the first is the 12-hour period from sun up to sun down, the second is the 24 hour period from sun down to sun down, and the third is an indiscriminate amount of time (it could be a very, very long time). So maybe, the “day” mentioned in Genesis is really hundreds of thousands (or even millions) of years.

So maybe Genesis should actually say:

In the first thousands of years, God created the heavens and the earth.

In the third thousands of years, God created  seed-bearing plants and fruited plants.

And so on.

Now, I know some of you are challenging me. Maybe that’s all good and well to you, but you think you have the nail that will seal the case against me: what if we keep going back, if God caused the Big Bang, who or what caused God?

Dear friends, I remember as a little kid, I sat and asked myself that very question, I thought and I thought and I thought. Perhaps, God has a mom, I thought. But then, God’s mom would have a grandma, and she would have her own mother and so on and so forth. Friends, I gave myself a headache. Eventually, I accepted that God just was and is and ever shall be. I know from a scientific stand-point, that’s not very satisfying. But, from a religious stand-point, it is. I don’t have to understand God to believe in Him. I don’t have to know what chemical reaction has to occur to change cookie dough into cookies, I just know it works. And for me, God works. It might not be satisfying, it might not be testable. But I, you, we are too complex to have occurred through some long, convoluted process that occurred simply by chance. God was there, God made it happen. God is the finger that pushed the first domino.

Depression

In light of recent events, I felt it was the right time to write this post. I am referring to the apparent suicide of Robin Williams on August 11, 2014. I had planned to write a post on Mental Health and, more specifically, Depression during May, Mental Health Awareness Month.

Depression is an important issue to me because in the Spring of 2012, I was struggling with depression. In fact, depression seems to run in the women of my family: my grandma, mother, both of my sisters and I have struggled with depression at some point during our lives. Depression is actually common, if you are depressed, you are NOT alone. There are many who are struggling or who have struggled with depression who you can talk to. Additionally, there are many places that you can go to get help. If you are depressed, please, please, please go get help. Talk to someone.

The two things that helped me the most through my depression were my counselor and my belief in God. I started going to counseling at my school. I went and spoke with my counselor once every two weeks. She gave me "homework" and we discussed the things that were bothering me. She was a sweet lady, easy to talk to, didn't mind if I cried, and really cared about me. If you think that people don't care about you, they do. 

Depression is common among women. Depression is common among freshmen and sophomores in college. This is because college students are under a lot of stress and they are experiencing an extreme change. The good thing about college is that most have free counseling centers for students. My school does. There is nothing wrong with going to counseling. Talking to someone is very important. Please get help. 

It is difficult for me to explain exactly how my faith helped me, except that it was very much like the "Footprints in the Sand" poem. I believe that the Lord was carrying me and holding my hand the whole way through my depression. There were days where I wanted to drop out of school and run away. I just wanted to give up. But I never did and I can't really explain why. I believe that God kept me going.

If you were depressed, and you have overcome it, please share your story with others. It helps to know that other people have been there. You can help to encourage other people. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Use your experience to help others. I shared with my sorority that I had been depressed and that I had gone to get help, when I shared this other girls shared that they had struggled in similar ways. One girl prayed for me thanking God that I had come out of "that black hole" and asking Him to help me to not be depressed again. Other girls told me that I could come to them if I ever started to feel that way again. And one girl hugged me for sharing. The reaction to me sharing that I had been depressed and that I had gone to counseling was completely positive and encouraging. Share your story with others, you never know who you might help.

If you are reading this and you are depressed and you feel that you have no one to reach out to: Please reach out to me. I care about you and I want to help you. I started this blog to help YOU in any way I can.

As for Robin Williams, his death is tragic and will be felt for years to come. He has made me laugh all my life and imagining the man who voiced and ad-libbed Genie not being in the world makes me very sad. To me, Robin Williams always seemed like a wonderful, happy man, but sometimes it is easy to hide things under the surface. I dedicate this post to Robin Williams, a man who made the world laugh. I never met him, but I will never forget him. We love you, Robin.

You Are Loved,

Sharon

Volunteering, Internships, and Jobs

One of the biggest things that I can tell you is that experience is in high demand and hard to get. One of the best things you can do to prepare yourself for life after college is to find an internship each summer. Each internship will provide different experiences and insight into different careers; they will open different opportunities for you. You will meet new people and learn so much about yourself and about the career you may go into one day.

But internships can be extremely competitive. How do you even get your foot in the door in the first place? Internships will often look at grades, but having good grades will not set you apart on paper. It is a good idea to volunteer in a similar capacity to an internship or job that you might want. For example, if you want an animal care internship at a zoo, it might be a good idea to first get some experience by volunteering at a local Wildlife Rescue.

A lot of students need jobs while in college. Since it is important to focus on school (like I said before, that's why you're in college in the first place), getting an on-campus job is often the best thing you can do for yourself. On campus jobs are typically more understanding that you are a student first and an employee second. They are usually more flexible with your work schedule, often building it around your class schedule. Not all campus jobs are created equally, I have a friend who worked in a campus job where she was not allowed to study even if she had finished all of her assigned tasks. Some campus jobs are okay with students studying if they've gotten all of their work done or are waiting for a customer to show up. Plus if you work on campus, you won't have to commute to your job - you'll already be there. Finally, some schools have limitations on how many hours a student can work during the week and that is a very good thing. For instance, at Texas State student employees are NOT allowed to work more than 25 hours each week.

If you can't find an internship during the summer, try to find some sort of job. You never know what kind of opportunities will be available to you just because you had a summer job. I worked over a year in a customer service centered workplace, and currently I am at an internship at a state park. I believe that one of the things that helped me to get the internship was my customer service experience because, in state parks, you have to know how to work with people, no matter what you are doing. Customer service is applicable to almost all careers. I have loved my internship and I am sad that it is going to be over soon. I have gained so much experience, had tons of cool opportunities, worked in a variety of capacities, and met many interesting people. My internship has opened my eyes to things that I never even considered would be a part of working for state parks. I have done so much this summer that I would never have done had I not gotten this internship.

Plus, internships are offered in almost any place and in pretty much in any field. I think I really needed a change of scenery and I was able to get it this summer through my internship. I am used to living in the humid, mostly flat but somewhat hilly (when you get into the hill country) part of central Texas. But this summer, I have spent my time in the mountains. You can see all sorts of stars out here. It gets cold at night. I'm approximately a mile up. The wildlife and the landscape was completely different and I think the change of scenery has been extremely restorative for me. Sometimes, you just need to get away and an internship can be a great way to do it!

Do yourself a favor, get an internship every summer that you can. You won't regret it.

Apartment Agreement

Have you ever watched the tv show, The Big Bang Theory? Do you know that Sheldon made Leonard sign “The Roommate Agreement?” Let’s look at some of the aspects of that contract:

·         If Sheldon becomes a zombie, Leonard cannot shoot him.

·         The Skynet Clause states the Leonard must help Sheldon destroy an Artificial Intelligence that Sheldon created that is taking over the earth.

·         Removal or addition of furniture must be approved by Sheldon

·         Sheldon must ask Leonard how he is once each day

·         The thermostat must always be set to 72 degrees

·         Roommates must give 12 hours notification if they want to have a guest

·         All ties will be broken by Sheldon

·         And many, many other items (seriously, this is a great show and you should watch it!)

Now with those delightful tid-bits in mind, what I’m about to say might sound ridiculous, but I suggested to my roommate that before we even moved into our apartment, we should come up with a roommate agreement. Now you may think I’m a crazy, tightly wound, control freak (like Sheldon), but the idea is a good one (and if you do a little google search, you’ll find it’s actually fairly common). And I think I know why, if you lay out reasonable expectations for a new roommate prior to actually living together, you are bound to avoid some disagreements and misunderstandings. Furthermore, it is not a unilateral decision, it is an open dialogue between two (or more) roommates, and usually a lack of communication causes failure of all types of relationships. If communication is open from the beginning, and expectations are understood, there will probably be far fewer problems in the future.

Here’s how creating the roommate agreement worked for us:

1.       I suggested we create a roommate agreement.

2.       She agreed.

3.       She emailed me a list of ideas for the roommate agreement.

4.       I looked over her list and got a little nervous about some of the things on it.

5.       I considered how I could change the things that bothered me, for example:

a.       She said: If one of us wants to have friends or family over, we have to ask the other roommate first.

b.      I didn’t like the idea of having to ask every time I wanted to have someone over so I countered with: We have “visiting hours” from 8AM – 10PM; if we will have someone over outside of those hours or overnight, we have to inform the other roommate.

6.       Then I added a few other things and sent the list back to her.

7.       She said she thought it looked good.

8.       Once we are both moved into the apartment, we will look it over again, do any final tweaking, print it out (possibly on pretty paper), and post it (probably on the fridge).

Things we are including in our roommate agreement:

·         How bills and rent are split

·         Visitors

·         Cleaning

·         “Open/Closed Door Policy: If the door is closed to their room, expect that the roommate is studying or needs privacy”

·         Be respectful- basically try not to disturb the other roommate if they are studying

·         Use of Roommate’s Things – basically don’t without asking

·         Groceries

·         Pets

·         Apartment temperature

·         Minimize electric and water use

·         Flexibility clause – it’s a “living document,” like the constitution!

·         Argument clause aka what to do in case of an argument

·         Keep the front door locked

·         Monthly check-ins (got this idea from another blog – Click here for the blog post where Lauren Conrad mentions this idea!

Admittedly, our Roommate Agreement is a little long (its 4 pages doubke spaced), and it’s still a work in progress, but I do think it’s a good idea. Hopefully, it will help keep me accountable with doing my part to keep the common areas of the apartment clean (I can be a bit disorganized). And hopefully, it will help to keep us happy and friendly with each other (we are friends after all). I think this is a good idea for anyone who is living together, whether in an apartment or a dorm. I’ll let you know how it goes!

I’m not sure what to say here,

Sharon

Advice to College Freshmen from a Senior

So since its August, I’m gonna start with a post for all those nervous freshmen out there.

I remember my freshman year of college, even though I liked school and was commuting from home, I was really scared because I’m shy and I didn’t know anyone who I would be going to school with (admittedly, living at home probably only made this worse – living in the dorms is a blessing because it throws you in the middle of campus and basically forces you to make friends). Anyway, the guy I was dating at the time let me wear his cross necklace the first weeks or so of school to help me feel secure. He reasoned that it would be like he was with me. It helped me adjust, and even though I didn’t make many friends that first year, I felt comfortable at college.

That brief story leads into my first bit of advice:

1. If you’re really nervous about school, wear some of your most favorite, comfortable clothes the first few days, it’ll help you to feel, well, comfortable.

2. Find your classes before the first day of class. Don't be afraid to ask other people for directions to wherever you are going, most people are more than happy to help!

3. Go to class (do not skip - only miss if you seriously must), sit toward the front of the class (whether it’s a huge lecture or a tiny lab), take notes, study, and actually read the book. I know you want to have fun and you feel all free and independent, but the ultimate reason you are in college is to learn something. So please follow this piece of advice.

4. Be respectful. Of your professors, guest lecturers, your peers.

5. Get involved. Get involved. Get involved. Get involved in at least one thing, this will help you to meet people and make friends. If you are invited to the Honors Society for whatever you are studying, join it! It helps to beef up the ol’ resume, plus it will be a good place to learn about opportunities related to your major. If you believe a certain religion, get plugged into that group on campus, trust me, it’ll be good for you. I waited til my junior year of college to get involved with anything, and that was a big mistake! So try out some different student organizations and find one or more place that feels right for you and stick it out through the rest of your college career. Personally, I am (now) involved with Tri-Beta Biological Honors Society, Chi Alpha (a Christian Fellowship), the Wildlife Society, and Sigma Phi Lambda (a Christian sorority).

5a. Don’t just go around joining stuff, actually participate in the various events/volunteering/etc. that your organization(s) do throughout the year.

6. If you are having trouble in class: go to your professor’s office hours and ask for help (throughout the semester), take advantage of on-campus tutoring, go to Supplemental Instruction if it is available, ask a friend who is doing well in the class for help.

7. Go to some of the free, fun events for students, even if you have to go by yourself, just try it!

8. Know when to say no. If someone invites you out late the night before a test, say no. If someone tries to get you to do something you aren’t comfortable with, say no. If you already have way too much on your plate and someone asks you to do something for them, say no.

9. Don’t pull all-nighters, they won’t help you on the test, instead study all semester, make practice tests, go over your notes, and get a good night’s sleep before a test.

10. Remember to call your mom. She misses you and she will be sooo happy to hear from you.

I know you’ve probably heard some or all of that advice before, but I really believe it will help! If you need any specific advice, feel free to ask in the comments! I’ll help if I can.

Wishing you the best this year,

Sharon