Struggling with the Call

Obviously the Lord calls to all people. He calls us to follow him, to believe in him, to worship him.

And he gives us talents which help to determine our careers.

But there is another call from the Lord.

Jesus specifically called 12 disciples to follow him, live with him, learn from him, and ultimately to go out and teach his teachings and heal more people.

Then he sent out 70 (or 72, depending where you are reading) others to teach and to heal as well.

But I doubt that was all of his followers, we do know that he attracted quite the following while he was here on earth. So what happened to his other followers after Christ left the scene? I imagine they were part of the membership of the early churches, but that doesn't mean that they all traveled, taught, and healed.

We are all chosen by God and we all have a place in His kingdom.

But we are called to different things.

Some are called to ministry.

And that is what I'm struggling with.

I think I might be called to ministry or mission work or something along those lines.

But when I try to talk to people about it, they tell me that I don't have to go into 'the' ministry. They say that I can get a job in whatever I want and then serve the community and, sure, this is true, many people do this and they are doing the Lord's work, but I'm not sure that's what the Lord wants from me.

I think he wants more than that (from me).
I mean Jesus himself set the standard pretty high for his followers:

As they were going along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man has nowhere to lay his head.” To another he said, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” But he said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:57-62

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes - even their own life - such a person cannot be my disciple." Luke 14:26

I mean that's pretty clear isn't it? Jesus wants our WHOLE life. He wants us to answer the call without hesitation. He wants to come before everything else and he wants us to be willing to give it ALL up for and to him. (Note: I don't think he literally means you should hate your family, I think he meant you should be willing to give up everything to follow him, and that is a pretty big order to fill).

But I do feel a hesitation and when I speak to someone about it, I hope they will affirm me and say that maybe he is calling me to the ministry. But they seem against it. They seem to think I would be throwing my life away if I went into the ministry or if I decided to go to seminary.

But how could I be throwing my life away if I'm trying to do the Lord's work?

I know that my hesitation isn't good. I feel torn. I want to get a job in biology, but simultaneously I want to go into the ministry or missions. I wonder what Jesus would say to me?

I believe my hesitation and my divided feelings are due to my human and spiritual natures being in disagreement. It is my hope that I can find the equilibrium where I am answering the Lord's call and hopefully doing something biology related. Only time will tell.

Some people think that if you are called, it will be easy, but nowhere in the Bible does it assure us of an easy life. In fact, Christians are assured of a hard life. Jesus himself says, "If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also." (John 15:20). And we know that Jesus was mocked and crucified so that is a rough life. So why do people think that Christianity assures us a rich, easy, happy life? It DOESN'T! Our reward is in heaven, not on earth.

And if just being a Christian is difficult, why would answering the call to the ministry be easy?


If you are struggling with anything in your life, I want to take a moment to reassure and reaffirm you. There is nothing wrong with struggling. There is nothing wrong with temptation. Jesus himself was tempted, so why should we expect to be free from temptation? Jesus struggled with accepting the call on his life. Before he was arrested, Jesus prayed to God, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." (Luke 22:42). Following Jesus's example, we should pray when we face temptation, fear, and struggling. God will strengthen us to do whatever he calls us to.

Blessings,

Sharon