Struggling with the Call

Obviously the Lord calls to all people. He calls us to follow him, to believe in him, to worship him.

And he gives us talents which help to determine our careers.

But there is another call from the Lord.

Jesus specifically called 12 disciples to follow him, live with him, learn from him, and ultimately to go out and teach his teachings and heal more people.

Then he sent out 70 (or 72, depending where you are reading) others to teach and to heal as well.

But I doubt that was all of his followers, we do know that he attracted quite the following while he was here on earth. So what happened to his other followers after Christ left the scene? I imagine they were part of the membership of the early churches, but that doesn't mean that they all traveled, taught, and healed.

We are all chosen by God and we all have a place in His kingdom.

But we are called to different things.

Some are called to ministry.

And that is what I'm struggling with.

I think I might be called to ministry or mission work or something along those lines.

But when I try to talk to people about it, they tell me that I don't have to go into 'the' ministry. They say that I can get a job in whatever I want and then serve the community and, sure, this is true, many people do this and they are doing the Lord's work, but I'm not sure that's what the Lord wants from me.

I think he wants more than that (from me).
I mean Jesus himself set the standard pretty high for his followers:

As they were going along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man has nowhere to lay his head.” To another he said, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” But he said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:57-62

"If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes - even their own life - such a person cannot be my disciple." Luke 14:26

I mean that's pretty clear isn't it? Jesus wants our WHOLE life. He wants us to answer the call without hesitation. He wants to come before everything else and he wants us to be willing to give it ALL up for and to him. (Note: I don't think he literally means you should hate your family, I think he meant you should be willing to give up everything to follow him, and that is a pretty big order to fill).

But I do feel a hesitation and when I speak to someone about it, I hope they will affirm me and say that maybe he is calling me to the ministry. But they seem against it. They seem to think I would be throwing my life away if I went into the ministry or if I decided to go to seminary.

But how could I be throwing my life away if I'm trying to do the Lord's work?

I know that my hesitation isn't good. I feel torn. I want to get a job in biology, but simultaneously I want to go into the ministry or missions. I wonder what Jesus would say to me?

I believe my hesitation and my divided feelings are due to my human and spiritual natures being in disagreement. It is my hope that I can find the equilibrium where I am answering the Lord's call and hopefully doing something biology related. Only time will tell.

Some people think that if you are called, it will be easy, but nowhere in the Bible does it assure us of an easy life. In fact, Christians are assured of a hard life. Jesus himself says, "If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also." (John 15:20). And we know that Jesus was mocked and crucified so that is a rough life. So why do people think that Christianity assures us a rich, easy, happy life? It DOESN'T! Our reward is in heaven, not on earth.

And if just being a Christian is difficult, why would answering the call to the ministry be easy?


If you are struggling with anything in your life, I want to take a moment to reassure and reaffirm you. There is nothing wrong with struggling. There is nothing wrong with temptation. Jesus himself was tempted, so why should we expect to be free from temptation? Jesus struggled with accepting the call on his life. Before he was arrested, Jesus prayed to God, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." (Luke 22:42). Following Jesus's example, we should pray when we face temptation, fear, and struggling. God will strengthen us to do whatever he calls us to.

Blessings,

Sharon

Is It I, Lord? Are You Calling Me?

In 1 Samuel chapter 3, we learn the story of the Lord calling Samuel. Samuel believes it is Eli calling him during the night, he goes to Eli and Eli tells him that he did not call. Three times the Lord called. Three times Samuel thought it was Eli. The third time, Eli realized it was the Lord and told Samuel what to do.

Last year, I heard a minister tell the story of how God called to her as a child (the same way he called Samuel), but she ignored him, he called her again when she was older and she ignored him, he called again when she was a senior in college and she finally began to answer the call.

There is a hymn called, "Here I am, Lord" the chorus says:

Here I am, Lord,
Is it I, Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night
I will go, Lord,
If you lead me,
I will hold your people in my heart.

It's a great song.

In these three examples, the Lord literally called these people. They heard his voice. I'm not sure the Lord always calls in that way.

But I do think he's been calling me.

It's more of a feeling than a voice.

I wish I literally heard his voice calling.

But I haven't, I've just felt the Spirit pulling me.

To what? I'm not sure.

But I pray that my answer to whatever the Lord asks of me is: "Here I am, Lord...I will go, Lord if you lead me, I will hold your people in my heart."

Have you ever felt God calling you to something? How did you know it was God? How did you know what he was calling you to?

Journaling

When I was in high school, I used to journal a lot.

I had this spiral notebook that I always carried with me. It had a purple cover.

I wrote my thoughts and my feelings and things that happened in it.

I rarely let anyone read it.

And if I let you read it, well that meant that you mattered a whole lot to me and I trusted you a whole lot.

It had helped me to process, to cope, to remember.

But at some point, I stopped journaling.

I'm not sure why.

So the other day I bought a little tiny pink-ish leatherbound (I think it is leather) notebook.

I plan to start journaling again, but the weird thing is I don't know where to start.

I guess I'll just carry it around until the mood strikes me or I think something that seems profound or whatever.

Am I the only one who sees a blank page and has mixed feelings?

It's like I want to write, but I'm worried that it won't be inspired enough. Like I'm worried that later I won't think it's good enough. But that isn't the purpose of journaling...

Do you journal? What do you write about? How do you start a new journal?

xoxo,

Sharon

What Does it Mean to Love Others?

If, as Christians, we believe that God loved all people so much that he suffered and died for all humankind, then how much more should we love and value each and every person?

And if we agree that this means we should love and value each and every person, how do we do that?

What is love?

What is it to love others?

Christian or not, we get a really good answer by looking at the life of Christ.

Christ healed the sick, restored sight to the blind, made the lame walk, made the deaf here, he fed the hungry, he didn't judge, he spoke up when people were going to harm someone else and stopped them, he never turned anyone away. He went through life loving everyone. Even right before he was arrested he reattached the soldier's ear.

Jesus said that we should "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 22:37-39 (NIV).

Did you get that? It is just as important to love our neighbors as it is to love God. And by neighbors, Jesus means all other people.

And if all of that isn't good enough, Jesus, himself said: "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13 KJV).

And then Jesus did just that, he suffered, bled, and died for all of us on earth, because he is desperate to be in relationship with each and every one of us.

So practically, how should we love others?

When you see someone eating alone, ask if you can sit with them.





When you see a homeless person, help them in any way you can.

When you hear of wrong doing in the world, stand against it.

It means giving your shirt off your back or the shoes off your feet.

It means giving a hungry person your last piece of bread.

It means speaking up for the voiceless.

It means seeking justice for those who are unrightly accused.

Standing up for the downtrodden.

Speaking up when you want to turn away.

It means selflessly giving.

It means serving.

It means:
“Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can.” (John Wesley).

And yes, it could potentially mean giving up your life for the life of someone else.

xoxo

Sharon

The Parable of the Lost Sheep

In campus ministries we talk a lot about reaching those who don't know Christ and I know that is important and it is definitely a meaningful and worthwhile goal, but I think we are missing something here.

In our focus on those who don't know Christ we forget about those who do know Christ.

Just because someone believes in Christ doesn't mean they aren't lost...

...or wandering....

....or questioning....

....or feeling alone....

In college, we are surrounded by independence and freedom, we are surrounded by the secular. We are surrounded by Christians and non-Christians. And maybe in this tumultuous time, we get swept under, lost. And when we finally bob to the surface there isn't a Christian in sight.

Maybe like me, they are shy and introverted. I don't like to go to new places alone. It helps me to have someone with me or an invitation to go. I wouldn't have found Chi Alpha at Texas State if one of my (few) friends hadn't invited me to their BBQ at the beginning of my junior year.

It was a huge leap of faith for me to join Sigma Phi Lambda because I knew no one in it and I knew no one joining it, but I had been fighting the feeling that I should join it up until my junior year.

I'm so glad that I took those scary steps of faith to join those organizations because I have made amazing friends and I have learned wonderful things, I have so many people to go to for love and support and prayer in times of need.

But what if my friend hadn't invited me to the BBQ, what if I hadn't been courageous and joined Phi Lamb? I don't even want to imagine where I would be. But I will. I would be scared and alone ALL the time. I would be isolated and when things were difficult I would have no friends to turn to. I wouldn't have friends to speak God's truth into my life when I need it. I would be so ready to get out of here, but instead I am sad to go, because I have found such community here.

Being a Christian means being a part of community. But not all Christians will seek it out in college. So those of us who have found community need to seek out those isolated Christians, we need to befriend them, we need to show them that they are not alone and they never have to be alone.

In Luke 15, Jesus tells the parable of the lost sheep. A shepherd has 100 sheep, but one is missing, but that one is so important the he leaves the other 99 to find the 1 that is lost.

What do we know about that one sheep?

It was part of the flock,
         but now it isn't.
The shepherd knows it
         and he knows that it's missing.
The sheep may be in danger.
That one sheep is very valuable.

That one sheep is like Christians who haven't found a spot at college. They are lost, they are valuable, they are alone, they are separate, they may be in danger, and the Lord knows them. And he wants them to be a part of the community very much. It is not the responsibility of the sheep to find the flock, it is the responsibility of the shepherd to find the sheep. Though we are the sheep, we are also the hands and feet and mouth of Christ, therefore, we are the hands and feet and the mouth of the shepherd.

Therefore, it is our duty to find the lost or alone or separated Christians. It is our duty to reunite them with the body of believers.

 I believe that finding and reaching them is an achievable goal.

Upcoming Content

From time to time, I have mentioned God. I have mentioned some of my beliefs (which I think are different from other believers). But recently, God has been nudging me a whole lot. He has been knocking on my heart.
He wants something more for me.
Maybe it is the season of Lent. Maybe it is that I have been hearing some very inspiring and thought provoking words. Maybe it is because I have been spending more time doing quiet, individual Bible study.
I really don't know.
But as I explore these thoughts, I'm probably going to have more posts about Christian things or thoughts I have.
So just a word to the wise. I don't know how long this will last, but as long as I feel the spirit moving me more than usual, I'll be posting stuff about it. I know I have at least three coming.
I will still attempt NaPoWriMo, so be watching for that in April!

Twitter-zilla

Twitter. It can be a great social media device.

Or it can be a friendship destroying monster.

It all depends how you use it.

I tend to use it frequently with random content. From complaints about neighbors to buzzfeed quizzes to following bull riders to pictures of cute animals to venting about friends.

I've seen it before. A girl posts something nasty about a friend, the friend finds out, and then they aren't such good friends anymore.

You would think this cautionary tale would have stopped me from doing what I did. But it is like second nature to me. Something frustrating or annoying happened and so I pulled out my phone and tweeted it. It is so fast, so easy. And that's exactly the problem. In 140 characters or less, you may have just torn another person down. You don't have to think about it. You just type it in and press tweet and bam, it is out there for the world to see.

You might not have meant anything by it (I didn't). It might have been no big deal to you. You might have just been annoyed or frustrated and so you wanted to vent and so you did. It was easy. And now you just move on.

Or if you are like me, you probably tweeted ten (or more) things (or one really long thing that takes more than one tweet to explain) and then you moved on. You probably didn't think about it again (I didn't). You just moved on, relieved of your complaints; you vented, you drained, you released, you blew off steam. So you're fine.

But here's the thing: the internet doesn't know that. The person reading the tweet doesn't know that. The person reading the tweet, who the tweet is about, who you were certain would never read the tweet, doesn't know that you are completely fine, that it was no big deal, that everything is fine as far as you are concerned (that's another problem with social media, it's so self-centered).

But to them, their world is deflated. They think you hate them. They think you can't stand them. They are hurt.

You didn't mean anything by it.

But they are devastated.

And maybe they say something about it. And then you are taken aback. Then you scramble trying to figure out what to do. You say you were just venting. You look at your tweets (most of which you have completely forgotten about) and for the most part, you feel like they were fine, that there is no reason for the other person to be upset, but maybe there are one or two that you read and you cringe, you think "I really should not have said that." You know just how much it would have hurt if you had read that one particular tweet. And yeah, you can delete them so that no one will ever read those tweets again.

But it's too late.

The damage has already been done.

I don't really know what to do about that. I'm still in this whole process. But here is what I do know:

1. You have to be very careful what you post on social media.
You might think you know who will see it and read it. You might mean nothing by it. But in reality, you can't control what other people read or how they feel about what they read, so you need to be very mindful of what you post. It could definitely have negative repercussions. So THINK before you post.

2. Everyone needs to vent.
No one is happy with 100% of the people around them 100% of the time. And that is totally okay. But be careful how you vent. Write it in a journal. No one else will read this. It is a safe place for your thoughts. Or you could write it down, tear it up, and throw it away. I really, really don't see how that could go wrong. If you really need to tell someone, be selective about who you tell. Don't tell a mutual friend or the biggest gossip you know. Tell someone who will understand that this is just between the two of you and that things are fine between you and whoever you are venting about.

3. If you have been on the receiving end of this, I'm sorry.
Words can really hurt. But try to remember, more than likely things are okay. Everyone needs to vent. I'm sure you vent too. Maybe you are more tactful about it, but think of your parents, significant other, friends. Think of all the people who you love, who you care about the most. At some point or another, you have been mad/embarrassed/frustrated/annoyed with them, that's a normal part of relationships. And maybe you wrote something about them in a journal or on a blog or on twitter or maybe you told a good friend. Maybe you even told them something really hurtful to their face. You were venting. Everyone needs to vent. Not everyone deals with these sorts of things the same way and that's okay. You have been mad/frustrated/annoyed with someone that you could never imagine not being a part of your life. It doesn't mean that they dislike you, we all need to vent and it doesn't necessarily mean anything bad for the relationship.

Be careful with your words.

Live in harmony with each other. Don't be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don't think you know it all! - Romans 12:16 New Living Translation

Think before you post!

Sharon